Tips For Post-Divorce Parenting

Tips For Post-Divorce Parenting

Making a welcoming space for kids is critical

Simon Baker's book, How To Be A Great Divorced Dad gives practical advice on setting up a home to accommodate the needs of visiting children. While Mr. Baker's book is written to men, I thought some of the tips were useful for both parents. In particular, parents with children sleeping over need to have a gameplan so that their home offers an atmosphere where children will feel welcome and comfortable.

Here are a few tips:

• Provide a home with sufficient space so that children will have a sense of security.
• Bring familiar furniture, toys and other things to which the children are attached.
• For children under age 5, follow the mother's routine and consistency.
• Older children should be given funds to decorate their room or space.
• Configure space for clothing and personal effects which will remain at dad's place.
• Don't overdo it with buying kids material things; there's a fine line between making them feel comfortable and spoiling them.
• Respect the privacy of older children.
• Make sure your home is childproof and childsafe.
• If a child requests, allow your ex to visit the child's room or space.

These are great suggestions to help dads who may be clueless on how to establish a wholesome atmosphere. Dads should have a washer and dryer at home especially if there are smaller children. Guys living in one-bedroom apartments, because of limited income have space challenges. Murphy beds or sleep sofas are possibilities. Or it may even be necessary to give the children the bedroom.

Legal systems sometimes work against non-custodial parents, but that shouldn't deter them from providing for the best interests of children. Sometimes men, after making support payments, must resort to living in public housing where they don't qualify for larger apartments if children don't live there a certain number of nights per year.

Fathers shouldn't have girlfriends sleeping over when the children are present. While fathers may parent differently from mothers, they need to be dedicated to fulfilling their paternal role. Studies indicate that fathers are more satisfied as divorced dads if their children stay overnight on their visits.