Leisure and Fun - Experts and Resources

How to Avoid Being the Good Girl

Debbie Does Divorce with Michelle Bersell

Posted to by Debbie Nigro on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 9:00am

Do you find yourself saying yes to someone when what you really mean is no? Have you ever had your feelings hurt but didn't say a word? Do you often totally disagree with a situation yet go along with it anyway? Learn to avoid these unfavorable situations by listening to Debbie talk with Life Coach Michelle Bersell about refusing to fall victim to the "good girl" syndrome.

 

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Learning to Say No: 5 Tips to Successful Independence After Divorce

Click the following for more articles and videos on maintaining a Healthy Mind And Spirit Through Your Divorce

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Girlfriend Therapy for Divorced Women

Debbie Does Divorce with Casey Wohl

Posted to by Debbie Nigro on Thu, 05/13/2010 - 9:14am

It’s easy to forget how crucial your girlfriends are until you find yourself navigating a tumultuous divorce. So once you’ve gone solo, make sure to celebrate the most important relationships in your life by traveling together. Author Casey Wohl joins Debbie to share her tips for how to keep your girlfriends where they belong — at the forefront of your life.

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How to Curb Dating Expenses

Posted to by Maryann Kelly on Sun, 05/09/2010 - 5:00pm

Dating is fun and good for you, but the cost can be significant, especially if you factor in the price of childcare.

Dating after divorce should be something you look forward to and enjoy. In my case, because I had small children and was embarrassed by how quickly my marriage failed I wasn't ready to date again until three years after my divorce. In fact, my friends had to drag me back to the dating pool kicking and screaming. One even sat me down at a coffee shop and wrote my bio for online dating site Match.com. Even so, it took me another six months to post good pictures and start dating.

Once I was online, I was highly discerning, deleting anyone overly suggestive, outside my geographic area, or not in my age range. In short, you need strong boundaries in this arena. I never met anyone until I was able to verify some major piece of information about them -- their last name, place of employment and the like. When I did go out, the first meeting was always just for coffee, and I told a friend where I'd be.

Here are some of the financial costs of dating:

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The Late Bloomer's Revolution

Debbie Does Divorce with Amy Cohen

Posted to by Debbie Nigro on Thu, 04/15/2010 - 8:02am

A couple of years ago, Amy Cohen was fired from her TV writing job, Coffee and Tea gift baskets, dumped by her boyfriend and proceeded to break out in a hideous rash. She didn't quite know what would hit her next. But she leveraged all the changes in her life into several brilliant turning points that ultimately ended in her memoir The Late Bloomers Revolution. Here, she talks with Debbie about the book and how you can turn adversity into positive change.

 

Click the following for a directory of articles to help you keep a healthy mind and spirit through divorce.

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Post-Divorce Online Dating Done Right

Debbie Does Divorce with Erika Moore

Posted to by Debbie Nigro on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:00am

You've heard the horror stories about dating after divorce — there are no men left out there, at least none worth your time. Sorry, but that's simply untrue. And online dating can prove it. But you can't just throw a photo "out there" and hope the right guy finds you. There's a right way and a wrong way to creating online profiles, and love guru Erika Moore shares some of her best tricks, from picking the right photo to writing a post that draws men in rather than scaring them away.

 

 

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New Relationship Rules: Texting & IMing

A guide to good communication etiquette: How often to text, call, and IM.

Posted to by YourTango on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 10:04am

Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. At least that's what's been shoved down the throats of the love-hungry for decades. And perhaps it was true 150 years ago, when the best way to communicate over any real distance was to write down your thoughts, hand them to a dirty guy on a horse, and have him take off into the remains of the day.

Now, in a warm and fluid world of cell phones, text messages, and IMs, anyone can reach out and touch you, anytime, anyplace. Significant others, naturally, are hands-on. They "just want to hear your voice"—so it’s a quick call during the day. Or a text message between office and gym.

In the beginning, you reply with the vigor of a porn star on Viagra: "I miss you, too." But soon the "I miss you" turns to "where are you?"—a bill among the love notes. For men, the cell phone becomes a homing beacon. Like Martha Stewart with that pesky ankle bracelet, we can't stretch our legs without getting zapped.

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“The Marriage Ref” Almost Nails it

Posted to by Dr. Bonnie Eake... on Sun, 03/07/2010 - 9:44am

I recently watched "The Marriage Ref", which premiered earlier this month. According to Wikipedia, the premise of the show involves real life couples who have been having an on-going fight for a long time. A video clip is shown to the three-member celebrity panel, showing both sides of the argument. The panel then discuss the merits of each side of the argument and vote on who they think is right. 

While this show is one of the funniest I've seen in a long time and aims to do the right thing – give both sides a voice and listen to each argument – it doesn't necessarily translate into creating change or fostering the proper habits for the couple. It starts to play off of what I call “Smart Heart Skills and Dialogue,” but they were not able to define and enact these skills.  The Smart Heart Skills were validated but undone by the actors doing cheerleading into each other being right and wrong.  Smart heart skills are not about being right and wrong as opposed to "walking in the others' shoes" and making the person feel safe. 

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