Legal Separation: The Alternative You're Looking For?

Legal Separation: The Alternative You're Looking For?

Posted to by Cathy Meyer on Wed, 12/30/2009 - 12:14am

Do you need a break from marital conflict, but you’re not ready to take the next step for divorce? If so, legal separation will give you the break you need, and protection while you take time away to figure out your next step.

During a legal separation, a couple will negotiate a temporary agreement and file it with the courts. This means that during the time you are living apart such issues as child custody, spousal support, visitation and the division of marital assets and debts are legally protected.

Be aware though that whatever you agree to during a legal separation may set a precedence that will carry over should you and your husband eventually decide to divorce. You should be as concerned with your long-term needs when negotiating a legal separation agreement as you would be if you were negotiating a divorce settlement agreement.

Below are a few advantages of a legal separation or why a woman may choose a legal separation over a divorce.

• A legal separation will protect you financially because any assets or debts acquired during a legal separation may be considered separate property. This is especially important in states where couples are required to live apart of a period before filing for divorce.

• There are social security benefits available to a wife who has been married 10 years or more. If you have been a stay-at-home mom, and haven’t paid into much social security, remaining married until you meet that 10 year requirement should be a consideration when deciding whether to continue in your marriage.

• In military divorce, the Uniform Services Former Spouse’s Protection Act (USFSPA) recognizes the right of state courts to distribute military retired pay to an ex-wife of a military member and provides a method of enforcing these orders through the Department of Defense. Waiting until you have been married at least 10 years increases you chance of gaining a portion of your military spouse’s retirement and other military benefits.

• If you have religious beliefs that make it impossible for you to divorce, a legal separation allows you to retain your marital status and gets you out of an unhappy, conflict-filled marriage.

• Most married couples reap benefits at tax time. This is an important reason for continuing a marriage but choosing to live apart.

• In some instances a wife will retain health insurance benefits during a legal separation. It pays to consider your health care needs when wrestling with the decision to divorce or separate.

• Most importantly, a legal separation gives you time away from the marriage — time you can take to decide if you truly want a divorce.

I know I touched on this earlier but, it bares repeating: if legal separation is the answer for you, treat your separation agreement the same way you would a divorce settlement agreement and don't let your emotions get in the way of your settlement. Hire an attorney to advise you about your legal rights and don’t agree to anything without considering what it means to your financial security down the road.

 

Related Content:

The Difference Between Legal Separation and Divorce

Legal Separation or Trial Separation? — 9 Key Issues to Consider

Comments

it has been a great article

it has been a great article cathy i appreciate the way of you writing. UFC Forum

seperation

There are two children in the middle and my wife wants me to move out after I catch up on our bills. I am the only one working and approximately how much $ should I contribute for support of the children when take home weekly is $550?

It's a nice relief

I like being separated. It's a nice relief. I was married for 21 years, and I always deferred to my husband. With the separation, I am able to see clearly that I handed away a lot of my personal power during those years. Separation has given me the space to recognize that I like not having to answer to someone. I like making decisions, and not having them vetoed (which always embarrassed me). I like not being criticized. I like not feeling pressured to do or be something that doesn't feel right. I like living with my own values again. It's great to speak the truth again. If I make a mistake, it's MY mistake, and I'm free to admit it. I don't have to "cover" for someone anymore. My house stays tidier, things run more smoothly, debt collectors have stopped calling. I like realizing that I'm more than a mom and housewife. I feel more energetic. I like that I don't have to worry about whether he's secretly texting his girlfriend while he's sitting with me and the kids. I don't care anymore. He was never home, always away, always out of town, working, busy, or "having to get away". Now he has to give the kids his undivided time for 48 hours straight, every other weekend. He is more eager to please them. Good. They deserve attention from him, and I like having some free time to do what exactly what I like to do.

what should she do?

I am mother who is very worried about my daughter. She is married to a Marine. They did not argue but, he anounced that he no longer wants to be married to her and she should pack her bags and leave in 30 days. She does not know what to do she has three kids. He is sending her back to Illinois and by the way he has a girlfriend that he wants to be with. Is there some advice you can give her? He also stated to her that they should not go through the courts and do this legally.

what should she do?

I'm no expert but I think it is clear that he has NO RIGHT to kick her out AND he cannot send her anywhere. If he wants to end it, he should leave, unless of course she wants to go. I think she should see a lawyer or maybe a counselor and find out what her rights are and sort out what she wants to do. He cannot order her to leave with the children; that is just perverse.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <br> <strong> <h2> <h3> <h4> <br> <p> <u>

More information about formatting options

Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.