Can You Be Friends With Your Ex's New Wife?

Posted to Resource Articles by Brenda Rodstrom on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 8:25am

Many people ask me if it is a good idea — or even possible — to become friends with their ex-husband's new wife. This can be great if it happens, but basically I think it's a stretch!

We choose our friends, not our relatives, and in a sense your ex's new wife is a step-relative. While there is nothing wrong with being friends, it's pretty unusual. Friends are people who have dinner together, share thoughts and feelings, and have a strong comfort level with one another. Since she is married to the person who you used to be intimate with and then divorced — which is not friendly — sharing thoughts and feelings seems pretty unlikely!

There is, however, a need to be polite and pleasant. This is in the best interests of your kids, who have been through enough and may be having a hard time with their new stepmother. One client realized that she would have to be in the same room with her ex and his new wife at school functions and birthday parties. She was having a rough time with it. I suggested that she take a friend or two along to act as buffers, plan some pleasant conversation with the new wife, and then enjoy her friends. It made it much easier, and she could feel good about herself for modeling polite behavior for her children.

Here is another example: Marj's ex-husband was having an affair with Dee for six months before he announced that he was leaving her. Marj was devastated. How could he do this? She refused to meet her for some time, but realized when wedding plans were being made that she would have to change this. The kids seemed to like her, and Marj vowed to be pleasant to her for the sake of the children. She knew that there would be many situations where they would have to be in the same room. School events, the weekly "hand off'', and eventually graduations and weddings. The time to start acting pleasant is now. That doesn't change how she feels about her, which is much less than friendly. I give her a lot of credit, because the attitude she shows to her kids allows them to have a better relationship with their father and stepmother. Much as she would like to throttle both her ex and Dee, she lets out her frustration in her divorce recovery group and has been able to move on in her own life.

It is really important to be kind to yourself. It is quite normal to have feelings of rage towards the people who have caused you so much pain. But you need to find an outlet for those feelings or they will devour you. There are divorce support groups, counselors and therapists who work with divorce recovery. Divorce is one of the most painful things that you can go through, but there can be a better life on the other side. As your pain lessens, you will probably find it easier to be around your ex's new wife — but give yourself time to heal. You can't force friendship.

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Comments

hello every one, my name is

Submitted by kate (not verified) on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 11:30am.

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friend's with the new wife

Submitted by Jessica (not verified) on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 11:36am.

I deivorced from my ex-husband 5 years ago. I have had a series of bad relationships and remain single. He however had a new girlfriend within 6 months of us seperating and they just recently got married. I have bent over backwards so that my ex can see his twin sons but he remains secretive about the wife. I have never met this woman face to face and don't necessarily have anything against her BUT when she is caring for my children I would like to know her. Do I have the right to ask for that in court? I am in KY by the way.

One thing i deliberate

Submitted by Violet (not verified) on Tue, 04/03/2012 - 7:40pm.

One thing i deliberate inernally is whether it is actually a good idea to pretend and fake for the sake of my children. They are not stupid, and a part of me thinks that it is fine for them to know that i can't stand this woman, she irritates me, and i wish she would move to mars. It is a part of life to be human, have feelings, and not like every person on this planet. Why lie about this to my kids?

I'm not there and won't be

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 1:00pm.

I'm not there and won't be for a very very long time. My ex flaunted his old/new girlfriend around family, friends, church, coworkers while living in our house while we were going through our divorce. Sorry I'm not the one, there is no friendship or respect for either one of them, so I'd rather stay away from anything that they are involved with. I make sure his kids are taken care of and he gets them when he is suppose to, but we will never be one big happy family.

flaunted is an understament

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Sat, 03/10/2012 - 1:00am.

I just read your comment and thought to my self .... wow, there is a twin to my husband out there. The now GIRLFRIEND almost lives in my old home with him and my kids and I only moved out in December. She is our former babysitter and is 18 years younger than him and 21 years younger than me ( our oldest child is 10 yrs her jr). The most recent time is three days ago when he shows up to my sons baseball meeting with her and her son. The first time was on mothers day last year when i was out of town and he took her and our kids out to eat...among many other items he has done with her in public... What the heck! Idiot! My kids are in the middle of his childish behavior... not sure how to not be confrontational...

I wouldn't stoop to their

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:49pm.

I wouldn't stoop to their level, my ex try to be civil with me but I have no love for him and there is definitely no friendship with her or him. They only exist to me when it's time for him to have my girls. I've read that the majority of women who divorce are much happier than men that have divorced. Some men even remarry within 3 years of their divorce which will be the case for my ex, because he doesn't want to be alone. The foundation of their relationship is already rocking for your and mines, I'd rather be alone for a long time than to just jump into another unhealthy, toxic relationship. The men will both cheat on their new victims lol but rest assured they'll try to come back lol

I think a lot of people are

Submitted by Amber (not verified) on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 5:05am.

I think a lot of people are friends with their ex's new wives and sometimes it works out and other times it doesn't. It could be good to give it a try though if there are kids involved.

The kids are the most important thing in a divorce so if it is luck or skill, the parents can get along with new spouses then things for the kids might work out better.

The new wife.

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 3:04pm.

My situation is similar to what most have commented to, I have joint custody with my ex-husband and they keep everything from me, always staying one step ahead to get the information before me. As fas as the new wife goes (we have been divorced 2 years) she is completely rude and disrepectful to me at all times. But then she will contact me regarding things with the children. I have communication with my ex-husband via email on an almost daily basis (I know excessive) and then she will text or write post-it notes to me as well. I feel like this is excessive. Do I really have to communicate with both of them? Shouldn't they discuss things and then my ex-husband email me regarding it? Just yesterday I received 3 text messages from her, a written note and my ex-husband emailed me regarding 3 different things.

Friends with ex's new wife

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Sat, 01/21/2012 - 1:26pm.

I do have a lot of bad feelings towards the woman with whom my soon-to-be-ex-husband is having a relationship. She pursued him - on Facebook. She is going through her own divorce after leaving her own husband. I saw some of her sext messages, which is how I found out about the affair. The crazy part is that although he says he loves her, they are 700 miles apart. He had also hidden debt for years - which all came out this last year. I have been a stay-at-home mom for many years. I am trying to be a good example for my three children, as I have gone back to work, back to school, and try my best to parent them well. My ex has sort of checked out in regards to the kids emotionally. I am trying to keep things as positive as possible, and as flexible as possible. He hopes to move closer to her at some point, while I won't until I am finished school, and then only if it makes sense for my children. At almost 44 years old, I worry about achieving long-term financial stability for myself and the children. -I know that down the road, I will have to deal with this other woman/possible new wife - but my life is so busy now and filled with obligations and worry about doing things well for myself and my kids, that I am rather happy to be able to avoid dealing with her until I have to...and hopefully by then, I will have moved on enough to be a rational, polite adult in situations where we have to mix.

i really love all of the

Submitted by Lesllie (not verified) on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 1:57pm.

i really love all of the advice on this page. i am recently divorced. a week tomorrow. The woman who my ex left me for was a friend of mine and co-worker. I also wok for my in-laws. They have taken steps so i do not have to see her at work. i have not talked to her since i found out. I feel enraged and betrayed. I dont want her around my children, but dont have a choice because their father lives with her now. Has anyone been in a situation like this? I have been as civil as possible. How do i get past the feelings of betrayal? Do I talk to her and tell her how I feel? And if I do what if i loose my cool with her? I dont want a screaming match but the thought of them together makes me so upset. any advice would be welcome.

A dad here

Submitted by David (not verified) on Wed, 04/04/2012 - 9:25am.

Did you find a solution to your feelings of betrayal? I am now married to an ex friend of my ex. I know it may not have been the 'smartest' decision, but we really do not choose who we fall in love with. Contrary to what peoria believe, there was never any cheating. We connected afterwards, but I suspect we both knew there was a special bond prior to getting together. I just looked at it like my guy friends who I connect with. I do accept responsibility for my exes hurt feelings. But it's been three years and it is what it is. It may sound crass, but I'm Being straight-forward and honest. My ex feels betrayed. She also does not want our children around my wife. She accepts that she can't stop that, but she FORBIDS them to ever be alone with her. Even to run to store or stay at the house if I run to the store. The kids constantly try to get these two to talk. I don't see it happening. Now they are of the age when sports and school activities are getting ready to start. I have a sick feeling in my stomach whenever I think of it. I'm sure the kids feel this. How can I get everyone to be civil? It's fine because they don't see each other yet, but the states at drop off and pick up or the upcoming events are going to be torturous. My kids deserve better than this. I thought accepting responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship would help matters, but it hasn't. Help me. Please!

It is VERY Possible for exes to be Friends

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 2:09am.

I was married for 16 years and we had one daughter. When my husband left with his girlfriend, our daughter was going on 14-years old. None of us talked for about five years. Not even my daughter and her dad. I have since remarried. I actually met my ex-husband when I met my present husband. They grew up together, but when I came into the picture, we all three had become friends. So, in a sense, I married my best-friend who just happened to be my exes best-friend also. My exes family still claim me as family, as I do them. About a year and a half ago, my daughter and I threw in the towel and made the first move open the door to her dad and his now wife (the woman he ran off with). We even moved out of state to be closer to them. Now, my family lives six doors down from my daughter's dad and step-mom. We all couldn't be happier. We're all the best of friends and get along very well. The way we all look at it, the past is the past and needs to remain there. We are all so much happier and my daughter is now 21-years-old and she is loving it that we all get along so great. But we are with the ones we should have been with and in healthier marriages and couldn't love our spouses anymore then we do. Though we have only known for one relative (exes aunt by marriage), to think it is sick that we all get along. The rest of all the families support us and says if it works for us then it's our business, not anyone's else. I also have an aunt that is friends with one of her ex-husbands, even though my cousin is an adult now. So, I don't see why it's a problem, I just think it's how willing the exes are to letting the past be just that, the past. Maybe my family and I are one of the lucky ones.

my new wife and ex

Submitted by rdp (not verified) on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:16pm.

I have 2 children with my ex, we never married. I have one child with my new wife, the love of my life. Threee years ago, I encouraged my wife to go have a drink with ex and hash things out. My new wife is a free spirit and will befriend anyone. They are now best friends. I am not with my ex for many reasons, mainly never loved her and she did many things (bad mom) that scored me. She is now a good mom and I am excited about that, however i dont want her in my life more than nessacery. I would invite her to family functions, football games, ect. When ex got out of rehab she had no friends, no true friends. So at that point I prefered her to call on my wife rather than what she thought were friends, these people were addicts, single party goers. I did not want her to rely on those people. I wanted the best for her and I knew that would help my children, which I have 50/50 custody over. Times got ruff finacily and I began to work alot being self employed and in construction. Admitedly I lost site of what my responsibilities were and put way to much on my new wife. They grew closer, i faught it but never told my wife no, I to this day never tell her no. I never have had a problem with them doing things together with the children. It has grown much further than that now. They go to beach together, wife stays at ex's house, they go to parades, out, they talk about everything. i have told my wife numerous times not to discuss our problems, me or even the good stuff with her. Ex does not need to be in our life like this. My wife still slips up from time to time. She talks about her problems with ex, which allows ex a window into our life. Me and ex fight still, not much. We fight mainly over this subject. My wife argues that this is best for children. I agree that them being able to get along, be friends to an extent, us all being able to interact is great for kids. I do not see how them being best friends is good for anyone but them. My 7year daughter has told me she doesnt like when they are alone, she says it just doesnt feel right, I can relate. my ex threatens me with court from time to time and when we fight or argue I now can't talk to my wife about anything due to their friendship. Me and my wife are on the verge of divorce now. We love one another but can't come to common ground. this past weekend my wife went to sons bday party on ex side. I had forgot the dte. Ex called wife told her, wife didnt tell me or ask me to go. I found out later and was irrate. My ex mother and wife or friends now and my wife has brought ex to her friends house. I am not allowe at her friends house, they dont like me. She use to call me or text me before she would visit, now nothing, its so secretive which is making it harder. I acknowledged I may have deeper rooted issues with ex and agrred to explore these issues. My wife will not explore them with me. While I am going thru this process nothing has changed and their friendship just grows. I have asked ex to leave my wife alone. Now my wife refuses to change this and I know she is willing to lose our marrige over their friendship. I do believe it is over principal and not due to her caring for ex more, however it is irrelivant, still hurts just the same. Wife ask me why is it bad for them to be friends, i cannot explain why, I am at a lost of words. Do I have the problem? Is it me? If so should that matter? When it comes to a marrige and this topic shouldnt my wife stand by me anyways? Honestly, I would love for them to be able to remain friends, limited due to our situation, however it has been pushed so much now I am to the point that I dont want them to ever talk again. I know this wont happen but it is how I feel now. When these scenerio happen it causes me to grow more bitter towards ex rather than wife when I know it is my wife in the drivers seat, not ex. This is causing extreme problems with me and ex and now I dont want to do anything with ex, bday parties, get togethers, ect. Now this is not good for kids. Please help, any advise or just similar situations would be great. D-

outlook.

Submitted by Liberty (not verified) on Mon, 11/07/2011 - 11:49pm.

I am not sure if this is still an issue, it has been 3 months but I am guessing so. You said your wife is in the drivers seat but you are resentful to your ex. Many men when they are done with relationships or women they just want them to be gone. You are "done" witth your ex and in your male mind expect her to be gone because you did not TRUELY love her. You never married her because you never really loved her but you remained sleeping with her and even impregnanted her twice. You have called your new wife the love of your life. You feel a gult about this and while most men can have thier, with all respect, selfish actions with woman out of sight and out of mind. Your ex wife has befriended her and given her a power in your life. You may be afriad that your current wife will someday see this and be turned off by how you may have done this to her now friend. The only thing is the fact that you are not just pleased and letting this situation flow like your current wife is, may tell your current wife that she would be correct n her assessment. These two women are friends because of the children and you seem to be putting your "uncomfortability" ahead of getting along and love that is shared from all. Your resentment to your ex is insecure and especially so because she had two of your children and remains positive and even is secure enough to be able to be friends with your wife. She sounds like a fabulous woman and should be validated and appreciated as such. This beautiful woman had your children and your new wife can see her for the good human being she is and lifegiver. Why can you not. GUILT, sorry. Therapy is always good for growing and embracing changes and situations.

I agree..to a point

Submitted by kells (not verified) on Wed, 07/13/2011 - 1:17pm.

My ex-husband will be soon marrying the woman with whom he cheated. It hurts a LOT, and we have two young children who are confused by the speed (he was dating her seriously within a month of my filing...). As much as I would like to rise above the nastiness from my ex (and the subsequent treatment from his wife - who only know what he and his family have told them), I take great issue with her wanting to take over as mother to our children (she, he, and various family members refer to her as the kids' "new mom"..in addition, she has slept with our kids and voiced her opinions on the visitation arrangements (and the fairness of it all). With the contempt from that side, it is quite difficult to have a conversation with either of them, so I try to avoid them as much as possible (as they do me - we stay on opposite sides of rooms for parties, etc - which, may I add, is their choice, as they typically arrive late to everything). When they mob our children, I stand back and wait my turn to congratulate/talk/whatever. What good does it do to fight? I can only hope that, while I cannot project the most positive image right now, I can at least give my children a graceful option of handling a difficult situation. I can only hope that, in time, we can come to some sort of cordial co-existence. Although, on the bright side, graduations, birthdays, etc don't happen all that often! :)

My life exactly. Controlling

Submitted by Violet (not verified) on Tue, 04/03/2012 - 7:34pm.

My life exactly. Controlling know it all new wife, who claims she loves my children as if they were her own (forgetting that they aren't), who writes me emails about how i should improve myself. I find great comfort in knowing that people dig their own holes. She will eventually alienate, i need not move a finger to make that happen.

She's fine...it's him that's acting weird!

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Fri, 12/17/2010 - 10:32pm.

I am so glad to read that other people have been able to maintain relationships with their ex's. When my ex and I separated it was heart wrenching and devastating. But I have moved on since. He cheated on me and has had several other girlfriends since we've been apart. One he was quite serious about and was even engaged to. We hit if off the second time we met, and though they broke up we remain friends. His new girlfriend is someone I knew prior to them dating. We've never been close, but always got along well enough. And I think we still do. However, since dating her (she is 19 years younger than him) he has begun acting weird around me. Jumpy, figity, absent minded, and sort of flighty. I asked him if everything was ok, and he said he thought it was but that his new girlfriend had also mentioned that he acts strange around me. So what is up with that? He wonders if he is just adjusting to the 'new' normal. On a different note, it's been two years, and I feel like I have managed my emotions and emotional welfare well...up till now. Now I feel angry and sometimes bitter. Now I feel outraged about his treatment of me. Now I'd like to yell and scream at him! I won't, but it's there....making me uncomfortable! And I would like to continue to foster friendship with him and his girlfriend. We decided early on that it was a priority to maintain friendly relationships for our boys. I really miss his friendship. I am in a new relationship and very happy and content. I also genuinely enjoyed being friends with my now ex. It's hard to reconcile it all. Any tips? Also, this is the first year without my kids for christmas. I am making plans, etc, but it's still leaving me feeling a bit blue.

Here's the problem. The new

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Sat, 10/02/2010 - 9:27am.

Here's the problem. The new wife is a control freak. I can't communicate with my ex without going through her. My kids can't communicate with their dad without going through her. She doesn't know her place and honestly I think she is one of those women who verbally, possibly physically abuse their husband. My only recourse is to stay the heck away. In a perfect world if the new wife was a SANE person, I would say sure it could work. But in my case, it isn't going to happen. =(

I am in the same boat! His

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 10:11pm.

I am in the same boat! His new girlfriend thinks she controls everything! She sticks her nose into our business. I cannot talk to my ex at all. There is absolutely no communication whatsoever because whatever we talk about has to go thru her first before he can make a decision! He has definately lost his manhood with this woman! I believe she is bipolar and verbally abusive, but he won't admit it. He has her roof over his head and no where to go of he loses her. Very very sad state to be in for someone who used to be stong.

For the kids sake I think

Submitted by get over breakup (not verified) on Thu, 07/29/2010 - 2:12pm.

For the kids sake I think it's better to look at your ex as a person you've shared your genes. You may not like your ex it may be an ugly divorce but the is one fact that won't change and that is you've shared your genes with someone you hate. So both parties must forget their differences and focus on children

Take baby steps first and leaps will soon follow.

Submitted by Free (not verified) on Thu, 02/18/2010 - 2:04pm.

I just want to respond as the "fresh" new ex-wife. My ex-husband and I divorced 2 days ago and we DO NOT get along at all. However, his girlfriend seems to have more sense than him so I'd rather deal with her and not him. He left me for her and I was devestated beyond reproach, but I had to learn that sometimes thats just the ways life is and that it won't always be like that. I CHOSE to have a relationship with his girlfriend by inviting her to come pick up our daughter or calling her to make sure she can be available for my daughter and she is willing. Sometimes ladies you just have to let go of your past! TRUST ME...............I know it hurts and you may feel that its unfair, but you have to choose to be happy and continue your life. I am so much happier, focused and relieved in a sense than I ever was during my 5 year marriage. Friendship probably will never be there and I told her that and she understood, simply because she knew that he was married when they started messing around. However, a cordial relationship can be formed for the sake and balance of your child, trust me they will love you for in the end.

Friends with Ex's new wife

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Sun, 04/05/2009 - 5:30pm.

When my ex and I were in the process of divorcing after 13 years of marriage, we were very sad about losing the friendship we once had with each other. We decided we needed a way to get back to the friendship even if we divorced. We still liked each other although we didn't like living together. We switched our marriage counseling to divorce counseling and our therapist helped us to get over the anger we had for each other. We were able to reconnect to our friendship which we both valued. I believe she was an excellent therapist. After our divorce, my ex and I communicated once in awhile just to be sure we were each doing well. He called me the first time he went on a date to inform me that he had seen one of my collegues. He didn't want me to be faced with rumors or mean comments from that person. I appreciated that. When he chose to re-marry, he informed his girlfriend of our friendship and told her he wanted it to continue. She agreed to meet me, which was difficult probably for both of us, however we liked each other. My ex also called me the day his son was born. We continued our friendship and his wife and I slowly began to be friends as well. We only see each other a couple times a year for coffee, and I was even invited to their son's sporting events and concerts. It is 22 years later and I appreciate their friendship. We are more than civil with each other, we learned to be friends. I am always saddened when I hear others talk angrily about their ex's. I can see the vile that is eating them up from inside. I believe that the energy we waste on hate and jealousy, in the end harms us more than the object of our hate and jealousy. Some of my friends and family think I'm weird for carrying on this friendship. Some have called our relationship sick. At this point in my life, 60 years young, I have decided not to worry about what others think. I have been happy, with my life since the divorce. I don't get choked up, angry or resentful each time I happen to run into them in public. We don't have to change directions, or plans in order to avoid each other, which is good in a small town. I feel that I am much healthier than others who cannot or will not make amends with their ex's. Life is too short, and the more good feelings we put out into the world the more good feelings come back into our own.

Friend's with X's new wife

Submitted by LouToo (not verified) on Sat, 10/03/2009 - 6:56pm.

Can we re-phrase it: Friend's with new or old ex-husband's next wife. Let's keep things fresh for all us first wives. The only thing new for us is the ex part. Let's change the language.

:)

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Mon, 04/06/2009 - 1:41pm.

"Life is too short, and the more good feelings we put out into the world, the more good feelings come back into our own" Very, very true... :) But unfortunately, there are some without that wisdom :( Sometimes it may even encourage those that are jealous, to be even more so because we have that ability.

Most definitely YES...

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Sun, 03/08/2009 - 2:00pm.

Most definitely YES... especially when both parties are not considered the "jealous" type. I have a wonderful relationship with my ex husband's girlfriend which has gotten to such a point that I'd rather deal with his girlfriend than with the ex husband when it comes to my 11 year old son she is fostering when I am not with him. She is so much easier to get along with, possibly because we are a lot alike in our thinking about raising children. I understand though there are many in the same situation who are not as lucky and I too fall into a weird category. I too experience a horrible relationship but not with my ex-husband's GF, but with my NEW husband's ex WIFE, she is a total disaster on the other hand! So I guess you have to say I have the best of both worlds... My new husband's children from his previous marriage are fully grown but his ex wife has a way of manipulating herself into our world one way or another... using the "misery loves company" tactic, or by situations in which she can control with her older sons, or using members of her family to conflict issues, etc. All because of her extremely insecure jealousy. The whole thing confuses me intensely because I can't fathom how a grown 46 year old woman can behave in such a childish way to the point where it is so totally obvious to anyone on the "outside" looking in... my God, I would be so embarrassed I would want to crawl under a rock if I was her...

Adding on to my post: To set

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 1:38pm.

Adding on to my post: To set a goal similar towards the similar, mutual situation like my ex husband and his girlfriend: 1. Get to know her in a NON BIASED way... in other words, by putting yourself in a "neutral" position without holding any past issues which involved your ex spouse... The same way you would meet a new acquaintance at a business meeting or a party. If this is difficult to do, consider professional counseling addressing the possibility that you may not be totally over the divorce or the breakup. 2. Any substantial, personal jealous animosities or insecurities should be addressed IMMEDIATELY by seeking some type of professional counseling. Avoid comparisons to yourself and your ex spouse's significant other whether in appearance or success rate. Remember, ANY personal insecurities does more damage towards yourself and your OWN self image than to your ex's significant other and definitely does not set a good example for your children whether they are young, older or adult aged if there are any involved. 3. If younger children are involved and your ex's significant other plays a part in nurturing for them, cautiously address important issues making sure boundaries are set while holding mutual respect in stabilizing those boundaries. Now, unfortunately I don't have much to advise on how to handle a jealous ex wife, as in the case of my new husband's. I do not take pride in it, but I DO proceed with caution when it comes to her as jealousy can be destructive as well as powerful. Because of this, unfortunately one sided boundaries on my part have to be set since the behavior on her part can be erratic along with her need to be in some kind of control of her ex husband whether directly or indirectly. Any conversation with her although should be cordial is kept to a minimum. Fortunately in my case, her children are adult aged so there is little conversation in regards to that, but unfortunately she can be manipulative in regards to them with their father (my husband). In that case, it's important to discuss issues with the new husband, BF, etc what the boundaries should be in order to keep the "sanity" at least within your own situation. He acknowledges his ex wife's jealousy towards me and understands it which is important. But to me it is equally important that he also understands the safety issue of it. I take no pride in knowing how she feels about me, I am more concerned about the destructiveness of it. He completely understands that under no circumstance is she allowed into my home. Which is an important step, at least for now or until she comes to terms with her problem. So, it is very important that discussions, guidelines and boundaries are set with your significant other when it comes to dealing with a jealous ex spouse and you both agree.

Can You Be Friends With Your Ex's New Wife?

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