Things I Have Learned Looking Back At My Divorce

Things I Have Learned Looking Back At My Divorce

Some useful tidbits I've picked up along the way

The following was recently posted as a blog by a wonderful member on the social network, within which she shares some insightful points about navigating the process of divorce:

• Lawyers are human too, but if you do not feel yours is working out, get a new one.  Some lawyers do not require a retainer up front, ask around.
• Counseling, some counsellors have a sliding scale and will adjust their rate according to what you can pay, ask around.
• Free counseling, some women's centers offer free counseling to those who qualify (leaving an emotional, physical, mental or any other kind of abusive relationship). If you need it, inquire.  In my area, there is the shelter and the outreach program, which are completely separate, the counseling was offered by the outreach centre.  They also get donations to give away to those who need them, toiletries (soap, toothpaste etc.), backpacks for kids (and school supplies in Sept.), hats, scarves, mitts, and other stuff.
• Creditors, most just want their money, if you actually take the phone call instead of ignoring them, you can work out a deal, sometimes they will defer payment for a month or so.
• Services, look into what local services are available.  There may be assistance to help with electric bills, food banks, sponsorship for kids activities etc.
• Your bank, do not hesitate to go to your bank if you need financial advice.  They can consolidate, refinance etc. 
• Support, build a support network, people to help you, hold you up and support you.
• Time, allow yourself time to cry, laugh, scream whatever.  You can't rush the process, everyone will work through their divorce emotions at their own rate.  Eventually, you will be able to look back at how far you've come.

I'm sure others have some useful tidbits that they too have picked up along the way, feel free to add more!

- blueheronwomen