Posted to House Bloggers
by Debbie Nigro on Thu, 12/10/2009 - 8:19pm
Now that we all know what we shouldn't — that there's been a Tiger in just about every tankini — Elin Woods and her kids are off to Sweden. So what now?
Lots of anger and depression and humiliation all around… enough to make a mother-in-law collapse. She did.
Though you wouldn't know it by his golf acumen, Tiger Woods is huMAN. So let me comment on the huMAN angle.
Ask any man who has lost his family to a fling and he'll probably tell you he deeply regrets it. He had few regrets at the time it was happening — when he thought he had figured out the best of both worlds.
For all the negative commentary on marriage being an “institution” that's been likened to prison, most men don't like going life alone.
Women are much better at it.
Married men like having their families to return home to after being MEN all day. They love their children and home cooked meals and their couches and their cozy wives. They need it. It's just that some of these men can't eliminate the excitement of sex with strange women.
So some don't. Others wouldn't dare risk it.
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by Rachel Gladstone on Mon, 03/15/2010 - 9:27am
The rebound relationship is a time-honored institution that has continued to survive for a reason. It’s a rite-of-passage, an antidote for low self esteem, and whether it’s infatuation or the beginning of a beautiful friendship, rebounding is a tonic for the lame-of–heart who fought the good fight and lived to tell the tale.
Like nothing else I can think of, the act of rebounding drives home the fact that there is such an animal as love after divorce. Whether you wait four years to run headlong into a new pair of arms, or stumble out there after only four days, the parameters of the rebound relationship are still the same. It’s really good for you. And the mere act of kissing someone who isn’t your ex-husband can make you feel almost virginal again. I say "almost" because this is physically impossible (without extensive plastic surgery) but it absolutely feels that way on an emotional level.
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Posted to House Bloggers
by Delaine Moore on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 9:26am
Do you ever wonder if staying in an unhappy marriage for years has made you blind to warning signs as you date again? Are you so accustomed to "dealing with" relationship issues and compromising who you are/what you need, that you continue dating someone who’s already bringing you down?
Take Chuck for example, a man who recently wrote me asking for counsel around a woman he’s been dating for a month now. Although he really likes this woman, to his chagrin, she doesn’t like receiving oral sex. When he tried to talk to her about it, she closed the conversation and laughed: “Hey, consider yourself lucky — I’ll never make you do it so you’re off the hook.”
Then, to make matters worse, he’s noticed that they can be in the same room for hours without her wanting any kind of physical contact — not even as much as a hug. "What do you think of her behavior, Delaine?" he asked. “What can I do to make things better?”
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Posted to House Bloggers
by Rachel Gladstone on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 10:30am
“One less bell to answer. One less egg to fry. One less man to pick up after…and all I do is cry.” You may or may not remember these lyrics from a song recorded by The Fifth Dimension a million years ago, but whether or not you do, they sum up the feeling of being left and alone as well as any I can think of.
Sure it’s sad when your husband exits, stage left. Even though you couldn’t stand another minute of sharing airspace with him, it’s disconcerting to feel disconnected from the man you vowed to love forever. But the thought of not having to pick up after him anymore, fry an extra egg or answer his calls should bring you a modicum of relief right off the bat. And as days turn into weeks and months you will begin to feel good about yourself again. In fact you might even feel so happy, you’ll be ready pronounce yourself a Gay Divorcee and when this happens it will be a red letter day indeed!
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Posted to House Bloggers
by Rachel Gladstone on Mon, 03/01/2010 - 9:05am
Once upon a time in the land of happily-ever-after, I enjoyed a great sex life with the man I promised to have and to hold. What had been a constant in our life ended with a whimper, not a bang, slowly riding off into the sunset until one day I was standing alone in the dark wondering what had happened. By the time I noticed it was gone, any traces of the heat between us had turned cold and I was at a loss as to the whys and wherefores of its disappearance.
“The thrill is gone,” I told my girlfriends, hoping that they might be able to shed some light on the fact that my husband had lost all interest in me. “Maybe it’s just a phase he’s going through like the terrible twos or a penchant for wearing leisure suits,” one of them said. I had to laugh but really, the whole thing was far from funny.
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by Delaine Moore on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 10:26am
Today I want to talk about a moment during sex that many of you probably haven’t analyzed before: That is, the moment of initial physical mergence. Cause you see, a close divorcing girlfriend of mine recently took a new lover whose ‘entrance’ made her roll her eyes…with annoyance.
To use an analogy, his ongoing technique resembled a Samsung Sewing Machine flicked on at high speed: da-da-da-da-da — you get the picture. Even when she gave him subtle hints of what she wanted, ie, murmuring to ”go slow’ or holding him tight and close, he quick tailed it back into fast-gear.
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by Dwann Olsen on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 10:14am
I have such a low tolerance for marriage mates (male or female) who dishonor their vows via infidelity.
I really would describe it as the ultimate betrayal and just pure selfish. Needless to say, with all the talk about Tiger Woods’ apology and his newfound commitment to his mom’s faith, I figured I might as well chime in.
At first, I was going to name this post “Why Tiger Woods Is Better Than Most Christian Cheats” For real! lol
My thought was, heck, at least he’s apologizing to his WORLD of FANS, when it appears most preachers and Christian leaders who get “caught” or caught-up can barely apologize to their families, let alone their church congregations or ministry supporters who they truly owe some sort of apology to.
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by Debbie Nigro on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 8:12pm
OK — I don't mean to brag but… How close was I to Eric Clapton and Jeff Beck performing at Madison Square Garden?
5th row center gets you this shot!
And…also got me shockingly yanked from behind by my collar by security who told me I was pushing it when I snuck up this close with my iPhone. LOL. Imagine?
I had a blast feeling 20 with my fun Divorced Dad Date who generously invited me to one of the greatest musical events I've ever seen! A Total WOW. I'm someone who appreciates genius in many forms and this was the guitar version of OMG. Their entire playlist was special but we were especially appreciative of these guys taking an old classic — my mother's favorite ,‘Moon River’ — and bringing it to life their way. Go figure. Just amazing.
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by Rachel Gladstone on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 11:00am
It’s hard to re-arrange your life when you don’t have a set of blueprints to follow or even some shred of a plan. You just have to feel your way along. You start out as a solo act, adopting various dance partners along the way until one day, bam! You meet the partner you never want to stop dancing with. Eventually, you tie the knot, set up housekeeping and begin the process of finding your way through the day-to-day maze of married life. You become attuned to his inner and outer rhythms, and he to yours. You become a duo — hopefully a dynamic one — and you boogie together through life. That’s how it’s supposed to be, at least that’s the ad campaign I grew up on.
So let me tell you, it was a painful moment for me when my husband lost his grip and began stepping all over my feet.
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Posted to House Bloggers
by Delaine Moore on Sun, 02/21/2010 - 10:58am
Two months into his divorce, Mike returned home early from work one afternoon to a big surprise: His ex-wife had let herself in and was standing in his living room. “I needed to come by and pick up a few things,” she said casually. “I tried calling you earlier. Didn’t you get my message? I didn’t think you’d mind…”
But he did. In fact, the feelings of being "intruding upon" surprised him. What if he’d been with another woman? What if, what if, what if? But it was more than that… it was about respecting that his was now HIS house, not theirs. Still, he ended up saying nothing. After all, their divorce was proceeding amicably — they were still "friends." He didn’t want to cause an upset, especially so early into their separation…
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