Decades Of Marriage And Nothing To Celebrate

Decades Of Marriage And Nothing To Celebrate

My ex-husband received notice that his parents were celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary this summer. "That's a reason to celebrate!" the invitation cheered.

Actually, I remember their 50th wedding anniversary. My ex's parents were remarried in church and there was a huge party afterwards. Good times, sure.

At one point, the priest was making a touching speech. My ex-husband's mother began to choke up with tears in her eyes, and she leaned a little bit closer to her husband very lovingly while dabbing at her face with a Kleenex.

He'd slapped her hand away. Right there in a church full of people, this man who'd just promised to love and honor slapped his wife's hand and shushed her. It was quiet, it was subtle, but he'd scolded her in public for showing affection.

Wow. That's a reason to celebrate?

This year, with the 60th anniversary looming, I can't help but feel like it's some show. What are we celebrating? That they haven't divorced but probably should have? That they've stayed stuck in a relationship without emotional support or affection? That a couple doesn't permit themselves to show caring tenderness in public?

Sorry, but I'm not buying.

I'll tell you who I think should have wedding anniversaries. Those TV commercial couples that sweep each other up in some impromptu dance by the fireplace when they learn of their retirement settlement check coming in should have an anniversary.

Those Kodak moment couples with shining eyes and fond smiles while they play together in some field should have an anniversary. Those too-pretty couples getting engaged with a DeBeers diamond in a dim-lit fancy restaurant I could never afford should have an anniversary.

Hey. At least they look like they love each other.