The Upside Of Divorce

The Upside Of Divorce

Posted to House Bloggers by Naomi Dunne on Sun, 03/30/2008 - 3:00pm

I spent Easter at my new in-laws' house. It's always a little awkward to be there for any length of time, but it seems to have reached fever pitch discomfort levels of late.

My partner's father has recently retired. He had a fairly demanding career and was out of the house a lot. My partner's mother had almost complete control of the house, and he generally stayed out of her way. I used to think that this was a fairly unevolved way to coexist. Now they're together all the time, and I've changed my perspective a bit.

I think they hate each other. They spent the entire long weekend in an upper-middle-class level domestic dispute. Everything was an argument. Should we feed the baby now, or should he eat while we're eating? Was it his idea to go on the Caribbean cruise, or hers? Was the photo taken in Bermuda or Barbados? Should we take the recycling down out now, or in half an hour?

By her account, he had numerous affairs over the years and they almost got divorced. By everyone else's account, this is bullshit. In households like this one, though, when someone says something that is not only bullshit but extremely offensive, you don't call them on it. You talk about how the stuffing tastes good with extra rosemary instead.

In writing for First Wives World, I've encountered many people who think that divorce is a tragedy. I'm starting to think that in some cases, it's a brilliant innovation. If they'd divorced 20 years ago, there's a slim chance they could be happy now. In their case, that slim chance of happiness seems a hell of a lot bigger than the chance they have at it now.