I'm Just Hanging On Here
I'm Just Hanging On Here
I admit it. Some days, my life is a complete mess — and I mean literally.
My house is littered with toys. My home-cooked meals are usually warmed-up leftovers. My laundry baskets overflow. The cats are shedding like mad, and the floors need vacuuming. I'd mention the windows, but they're more like sun filters right now, what with all the residue the outside elements have left on them.
I need a babysitter, a break, and a drink.
Needs aside, my biggest priority has been keeping up appearances that I'm a Good Mother. I've had a few comments from people lately, jokes about how it's hard to walk across the floor or comments about it being 8 pm and how could I possibly just be sitting down to supper?
For all you people that believe single moms have to be Superwoman, read this: I don't care what you think any more.
Here I am, working like a devil to make ends meet so I can pay the bills and have some leftover. I'm coping with dealing with a teen and a toddler at the same time. I'm desperately trying to hang onto a relationship I actually left, and I'm working very hard not to regret having done so.
Regrets? Oh sure, I have them. I have them when I could use that extra support or someone to say, "Hey, I'll take over." I have regrets when I look at my microwave meals and think about how I used to make such beautiful suppers when we were a family. I have regrets that we used to be a double-income household, not a struggling single one.
Relationships shouldn't be about sharing the workload. They should be about sharing affection and time together.
But boy oh boy, I sure wish I had a man around the house some days.
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