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Dorothy Frasca has over 25 years experience running her own investigation agency. She started her career as a paralegal working with prominent New York Tri-State law firms. Dorothy founded Davis Investigations, Inc. in 1989. The agency is licensed in New York, Connecticut and New Jersey. This is a family business. One of Dorothy’s two sons, Adam is also a private investigator and has joined her in the business. Davis Investigations has extensive experience working with women and men who are concerned that a spouse may be cheating or that an ex-spouse may be a negligent parent.

First Wives World spoke with Dorothy about the signs of infidelity and how a private investigator can help you obtain evidence to make a decision about your future.

Dorothy points out that many women willfully ignore the signs of a cheating spouse. These can include the following:

  • Your spouse suddenly starts working longer hours, or takes unexpected business trips.
  • He changes his passwords on his email and phone, which denies you previous access.
  • Someone who hasn’t been physically active starts going to the gym.
  • He improves his appearance in other ways, such as a change in wardrobe or hairstyle.
  • Any change in behavior can be a sign that there may be infidelity.
  • There may be physical evidence such as the smell of a woman’s perfume on his clothing, or (sorry to be so graphic, but that is reality) stains on underwear.

There are many signs, and only you know how your spouse has started to act differently.  You may not want to know, or you may turn a blind eye, but pretending something isn’t going on isn’t going to make it go away. It may be something innocent, but most women have an intuition about these things. As they say, the truth will set you free. 

That freedom comes at a cost, but it’s worth it for your peace of mind. The fees for private investigation vary. Most investigators will require a retainer. Consult with an investigation agency in your state. Make sure you choose an agency that is licensed. Most states have licensing regulations.  If you are located in Canada, there are similar regulations.  

Don’t be intimidated. Private investigators are professionals who deal with these sensitive matters on a regular basis. All of your information will remain confidential. An investigator will ask you to provide details, such as a description and a photograph of your spouse, contact numbers, his place of work and other locations he frequents, his vehicle description and license plate, and any other relevant information. 

Make sure you provide as much information as you can. The more the investigator knows, the easier it is for them to do their job. It is common for people to want to hold back details that may be embarrassing, but it doesn’t serve you well in the long run. Even insignificant details can help with the investigation.  

With the proliferation of online and retail spy shops, many women are trying to conduct their own investigations. While you may think it will save you money, DIY investigations can backfire.

Dorothy warns against this tactic, “Absolutely not! This is the worst possible thing a woman can do. Don’t change your habits, call a P.I. to discuss the details and let them do their job. It can be difficult, but just act normal, you don’t want to give away that you are on to them.”

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Private investigation agencies such as Davis Investigations will obtain video evidence. As long as your spouse is meeting his paramour in a public place, surveillance is legal. Due to privacy laws, an investigator cannot film through a window, an open hotel door, or anywhere an individual has an expectation of privacy.

When the investigator obtains proof, they will prepare a report. Dorothy states that they will often send the evidence directly to the client’s lawyer, or call the client into the office

If you have a custody arrangement with your ex and expect that he has a drug or alcohol problem, or is living a lifestyle that is not compatible with good parenting, a private investigator can help you get the evidence you need to change your agreement and keep your children safe.

An ex-spouse who isn’t paying child support may be working under the table. An investigator can dig up this information and help you get your money. 

Many marriages are destroyed by infidelity, but waiting it out or hoping his affair will end isn’t smart. For one thing, you could be putting yourself at risk of a sexually transmitted disease. While you are biding your time, your soon to be ex could be stashing money away so that he has a little nest egg when he leaves you for that other woman.  A private investigator can uncover hidden assets when you are filing for divorce.

Dorothy recommends, “Act quickly. You don’t want to suffer. Cheating isn’t acceptable. Get the evidence, get a lawyer and get your ducks in a row and get out. If it happened once, it will happen again.”

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