When the going gets tough, you might want to consider these New Agey suggestions for coping with divorce. Even if some are too “out there” for you to actually do, they’re good for a laugh.
- Do the rite thing. Engage a celebrant to perform a ceremony that turns your divorce into a meaningful event. “Anyone making this choice needs the support and acknowledgement of friends and family to make peace with the past and begin building a positive future,” says Boston-based celebrant Cindy Matchett. For more info go to Matchett’s site (meaningfulcelebrations.com) or to find a celebrant in your area, visit celebrantusa.com/map.html.
- Smudge with sage. Native Americans do spiritual house-cleaning by burning a bundle of dried sage, a practice known as “smudging.” Ignite the sage and, starting at the doorway, move through your space counterclockwise. When the smoke clears, you’ll have purified your home — and purged your ex. Find sage bundles at incensewarehouse.com.
- Find someone new. No, not a rebound relationship, but one that’s unconditionally loving — with a pet. A pooch or a kitty waiting at home can do wonders for that empty house or apartment (okay, they can do damage, too, but that’s another story). Your local shelter or rescue group is a good place to start.
- Think ink. A new (or your first) tattoo can be a visual reminder of your decision to start fresh. “You could get the word ‘freedom’ in Chinese letters,” suggests Jon Jon, a tattoo artist with Cutting Edge Body Arts in New York City’s West Village.
- Fly solo. “The day my divorce was final, I went by myself to an Earth, Wind & Fire concert,” says Corin Ramos, 40, of Anaheim, Calif. “I had never done anything like that before, but they were my favorite band growing up, and I figured it was a good start to connecting with a happier me.” Pick something that’s always intrigued you — art classes, surfing lessons, whatever — and take yourself.
- Run for it. Train for a 5K, 10K, even a marathon, or sign up for a walkathon. “Oftentimes, people going through a divorce feel a sense of failure,” says Shelly Rachanow, author of If Women Ran the World, Sh*t Would Get Done. “Running a 5K is a great way to re-connect with your sense of personal power and accomplishment.”
- Road trip! Even if your best friends aren’t single, they should be able to take off for a weekend. Go back to the place you and your buddy raised hell, or somewhere you’ve never been (and raise hell there). “A road trip will help you remember how fun life can be,” says Rachanow.
- Redo the bedroom. You may not be able to afford to redecorate the whole house, but paint is cheap and your bedroom deserves to be your personal sanctuary. Brighten up the walls; spring for some new sheets; buy cheap lamps from K-Mart and paint them a jazzy color.
- Get the band back together. Or have a three-hour, long-distance gabfest with a far-off friend. Or finish the great American novel. The point is to revel in activities your ex- found foolish, or you just couldn’t make time for while you were married.