Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
join a community of support ›

Resource Articles

The divorce resources listed below provide helpful information about a range of important topics, all provided by experts and other knowledgeable individuals. Topics include all things legal and financial, health and body, and more lighthearted content like makeup how-tos, music recommendations, and recipes.

Back to Article List

Filter Articles By:  

Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. At least that's what's been shoved down the throats of the love-hungry for decades. And perhaps it was true 150 years ago, when the best way to communicate over any real distance was to write down your thoughts, hand them to a dirty guy on a horse, and have him take off into the remains of the day.

Now, in a warm and fluid world of cell phones, text messages, and IMs, anyone can reach out and touch you, anytime, anyplace. Significant others, naturally, are hands-on. They "just want to hear your voice"—so it’s a quick call during the day. Or a text message between office and gym.

In the beginning, you reply with the vigor of a porn star on Viagra: "I miss you, too." But soon the "I miss you" turns to "where are you?"—a bill among the love notes. For men, the cell phone becomes a homing beacon. Like Martha Stewart with that pesky ankle bracelet, we can't stretch our legs without getting zapped.

Women find comfort in words, a comfort they deserve. But men are more "reactive" communicators, and thus we use cell phone and "Crack-Berry" to pacify: "Hey, honey, just wanted to let you know I’m going to go get a bikini wax and a new banana hammock."

Or in emergencies, like when you need her to pick up another bottle of Haitian rum, or you just ran over her mom with your car and you need to beg forgiveness while driving to pick up another bottle of Haitian rum. Or to lay down a booty call. In that spirit...

PHONE CALLS

Men: Answer at least half the calls she makes to you every day. A good rule of thumb is: answer the first one, ignore 2, 3, and 5, and answer 4 and 6. Lob a call of your own over during the day. If you time it right, it will be like sending flowers.

Women: It's hard enough for guys to feign interest about "what Linda said to Jill" when we're in your sightline. Stick to the basics. Make half the calls you feel compelled to make; talk for half the time. However, if we're already at a high call volume, don't cut down too much if not hearing from us will make you panicky. If you slow down, we'll slow down. If you stop, we'll stop.

 

Click the following to continue reading on YourTango.

 

Related Articles on YourTango.com:

Is Technology Ruining Your Relationship?

Is it OK to break up via Email? We Say Yes

Why You Shouldn't Text Before the First Date

Back to Article List


Leave a comment

1 comment

  • Comment Link Wednesday Monday, 22 March 2010 10:04 posted by Wednesday

    This is insulting: I don't know about you, but I'm not a needy controlling woman who feels compelled to fill the air with trivial blather to my partner, just so he can reassure me that he thinks of me from time to time. If I'm calling someone four to six times a day, it means I'm on my way to the emergency room and I must keep losing my cell phone reception. I really hate this kind of silly, "Sex and the City"-type advice. It's demeaning to both men and women. We're not in junior high any more.