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The worst part of the end of a relationship can be the lack of one. The open-endedness and plaguing questions of why and how it all went downhill can keep you up at night. We've all been there, waiting for answers that never came and wasting precious time trying to get that closure from an ex who just wasn't willing to give it.

I've scoured libraries, the Internet and talked to experts searching for some guidance to help deal with the ambiguous end of a relationship, but most of what I learned didn't come from any of those places. It came from experience. It came from my girl friends' experiences. And it came from being the one left confused and broken-hearted.

Whether it was a long drawn-out breakup or one that ended abruptly without warning, below are some tips on how to move on to bigger and better things—specifically a new you.

Play it cool. The first months after the end of a relationship is spent deconstructing, overanalyzing and explaining to every one you ever met what went wrong. Instead of jumping straight to the trash talk about how he wasn't good in bed, try keeping mum on the subject. This doesn't mean you need to praise him or avoid the topic altogether, but talking it to death will bore your friends and scare new guys away. According to one book I actually found insightful, Delphine Hirsh's The Girl's Guide to Surviving a Breakup, "You don't want your friends to feel as though their lives are unraveling as well or they will not be very helpful to you." Not only will staying tight-lipped on the subject keep your name clear of drama, but it will baffle him as to why you aren't pouring with distraught. Win-win.

Click here to read the other four steps to moving on for good...

 

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1 comment

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 22 October 2012 04:05 posted by Guest

    I think the advice to not say: I think the advice to not say anything is crap. We learn from one another and knowledge is power. If my story helps anyone else then I will have made a difference. If we were all more honest, with ourselves, with our significant others, and with our friends and family, our relationships would be relevant and meaningful. Who doesn't want to live like that? Life shouldn't resemble reality TV. Life is about handling yourself with integrity. It's about keeping it real and though it can get messy at times we don't have to betray those we love. Life is hard and while I know there are many many reasons people leave marriages it is always the circumstances surrounding its demise that matter. Who wouldn't have questions? Normal people don't behave as most of our spouses did when they left. If only he had just cheated on me. He destroyed everything he ever stood for. He ruined our legacy. My family lost our home, our life's savings, and our belief in his integrity. Four years later we are still dealing with the consequences of his actions. the saddest thing? He still doesn't recognize yet that his children are drifting further and further away from him. Life is about the people you love and the people who love you. Make wise choices. It's as simple as that.