Separation between couples is often misunderstood due to the lack of guidelines and the ease with which it can be carried out. It is fraught with many pitfalls if certain clear objectives are not laid down or ultimately met. The most basic goal of any separation is to give the couple space and time in their relationship to decide on future action, particularly in saving the marriage etc., without undue influence from each other. However, couples often get distracted and confused and lose sight of their goal and their trial separation ends in divorce.
Furthermore, once separated, some people will see the break as a license to look and opportunity for them to start new relationships, which then complicate the situation and make finding a solution to the marital problems much harder.
In order to make a trial separation successful a couple should agree to five key rules:
1. Determine a time frame. The break should have a specific time attached to it, so that it does not just drag on without any conclusion. The time should ideally be between three and six months so that a sense of urgency and sincerity is retained, especially where children are involved. The longer the separation continues, as people settle into their new routine, the harder it is to get back to the old life. Any separation that drags on will gradually turn into two new and separate lifestyles.
2. Set clear boundaries. It is important to know the rules of the separation—what is acceptable, what isn't. Write these rules out and stick to them.
Click here to read the remaining three key rules to successful trial separation...
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