Divorce triggers a huge range of emotions, but it is also the catalyst for a number of life changes! We can't stop the pain, the emotions, and the life changes from happening, but we can change how we deal with them.
When I was going through my divorce, like so many, I had to move and sell a house that I had built, the home in which my children grew up.
It was far too big and, after 10 years, things were breaking down.Paying bill after bill made me financially fearful.
I did not want to be house poor, but letting go of the house was harder than letting go of my husband, since the house represented my “white picket fence” dream.
I tried hard to hold on. I didn’t want to experience the pain of moving.
I was afraid of change.
I believed that if I could just control the situation and keep things “as is,” I would be OK.
I thought my resistance to selling my house was protecting me, but instead it locked me into the pain and it kept me mired in the circumstances I most disliked.
Each bill, each time an appliance broke down, or the roof leaked, it triggered panic and fear.
After yet another unexpected repair that was going to cost thousands, I knew I had to let go.
I remember vividly my moment of surrender. It was during one of my afternoon runs.
I was thinking about what to do and crying so hard that I had to stop to catch my breath. Seated on the side of the street, I looked up to the sky and said out loud, “I surrender! Take the house!”
I composed myself and made it home. Within a week I had an offer on my house.
The Law of Surrender states that, “When we can accept our circumstances exactly as they are, things will start to open up, shift and transform in our lives … Surrender is an act of courage that calls on us to have faith in the unknown.”
It invites us to breathe deeply, affirm that it is safe to let go of our limited perspective and have faith in powers beyond those we can see.
I ended up selling my house and buying a new one.
My original house had a pond in front of it. My new house looks out onto the ocean.
Here’s the kind of change that can happen when you accept the Law of Surrender.
In my old house, I could see only to the other side of the pond. In my new house on the ocean, the views are, like my possibilities, limitless.