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Every woman who has gone through a divorce knows it can be lonelier in the wrong relationship than it would to be single.

Being without a man is really not the survival test it is made out to be. Instead, when single, you are in control and can enjoy the luxury of managing your own world. The whole universe is your oyster!

As a single woman you have so many distinct, delicious possibilities to explore — far more than someone who's married. Seize the day. For now, your life gets to be all about you — your attention can be directed at your desires rather than subject to the whim of a protesting partner.

For example:

• You can focus on making sure that your working life works for you. You have the time to search for the right job, and then to concentrate on excelling in it. You have the sole say as to how you spend the disposable that is a product of your labor! There is no other half complaining you should be spending money on new wall paint rather than a new nail polish.

• You can get the body you want — no one is pressurizing you to keep up with their penchant for calorific takeouts. Take this opportunity to gain control over your habits. You can decide how to spend your free time without fear that it will conflict with anyone else's agenda. At a moment's notice you can take a trip to the gym... or enjoy a quiet night in under the covers with an eye mask and large tub of Ben & Jerry's!

• You are in the driving seat of your destiny — and the type of vehicle you motor around in. Who said that a pink mini-cooper was not a sensible car? Home is your domain — if you want, you can take pride in it and perfectly feng shui your pad without fear of a smelly soccer equipment voiding its vibe. And its location is YOUR choice. You can go for a shoebox with a fabulous location if you want — there's no one complaining about the lack of outdoor space for BBQ'ing.

• You get to hang out with your own friends, when and where you want, rather than have people and places thrust upon you. And with your friends there is no need to fly solo at a party if you don't want to — from them you can choose the right "Wingman" for the right occasion.

There is no need to fear being single. And come on, your Rampant Rabbit will always give you an orgasm, not fall asleep halfway through because of one beer too many (always have spare batteries handy!).

You are whole, not half. Take this time to have fun with you...

 

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3 comments

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 20 October 2009 16:06 posted by Guest

    Thank you, Wednesday. This: Thank you, Wednesday. This article left a really bad taste in my mouth until I read your comment.

    This article makes it sound sort of like in order to have a successful marriage you have to give in to whatever your husband wants. I would never marry a man who didn't let me be myself (which, I can assure you, is not someone who drops a bunch of cash on nail polish and pink mini-coopers - holy gender stereotyping, Batman!). Of course, I would compromise with him and do stuff to make him happy, too, but I would do that because I like seeing him happy and wouldn't consider it a regret or a waste of my time.

    I think the intention of this article was good, however, and I'm all for empowering women to "survive" without needing a prince charming in their lives.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:38 posted by Guest

    I agree with the above: I think you hit the nail on the head. In fact, I think this is the theme of firstwivesworld lately. A mix of sex in the city/cosmo written for women obsessed with being a "cougar".

    Some practical articles have remained here - and that's great - but some of the personal authors at this web site are gone. It seems since the summer(?), there are fewer authors that seem to relate to the common Jane (e.g., Mimi is funny, but what about real everyday women struggling with issues we all relate to?) While I am working to be positive, most of us can't jet off to the gym on a whim or crawl under the covers. I've got kids to feed.

    This site used to speak to me....but I guess I'll check back when my kids are grown, I make $200k, and I want to know if I am a "cougar".

  • Comment Link Wednesday Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:00 posted by Wednesday

    Right. You can do all those: Right. You can do all those things.

    As long as you don't have dependents living with you.

    I'm much happier now that I'm divorced, but this article is just silly. Sure, let's make a big batch of lemonade out of all these divorce lemons, but let's not pretend that it's the chance we've all been waiting for to mold our post-divorce lives in a Sex-In-The-City fashion. Who would want that trivial, foolish life anyway, waiting for the next man to arrive who will adore us for our girlish grasshopper Cosmo-reading ways?

    Thanks, but no thanks. I'm grateful not that I can run out and buy a pink Cooper Mini, but that there's one less person to make snarky comments about my minivan, although the teenager daughter is valiantly trying to pick up the slack. I'm grateful that I even have a job in this economy, and doubly grateful that I can pay the bills even though the ex is $20,000 in child support arrears with no end in sight.

    I can't stand articles like this. As if all you have to do is summon up your inner spunky nature, slip into the right cocktail dress, and walk into a fabulous new life. It's not like that for most of us. It's a hell of a lot harder, and ridiculous light-hearted magazine-y articles only serve to point out that we're NOT in a glamorous life, and since it's so easy, it must be a lack of willpower or an attitude problem.