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It was a Saturday; I remember the morning distinctly because that was when it happened. I was sat down in a big brown and cozy recliner and told by my Father that he was moving out, along with some cock and bull filler words. You know the kind they use to make bologna in those huge factories? Anywho, I guess you could call me a lucky sod; I slept almost the entire day! Lucky AJ! Not really.

It's a strange kind of feeling when you walk down the stairs after taking a four-hour nap, step onto the living room carpet, and suddenly you look into the book case and the orange Disney trolley complete with goofy, Pluto, Donald duck, Mikey, and Minnie is suddenly gone. It's even stranger when you therefore realize that you haven't looked at that trolley since you were eight years old. Then, as you walk down the hallway leading into the kitchen you  notice that someone has removed your favorite hanging poem "Foot Prints" from the wall, and the nail that went along with it. It was then that it dawned on me that Dad was gone already. At first it was kind of Twilight-zoney, you know? But then I started to think and list off in my head everything that was gone. Suddenly, that trolley car meant more to me than all my limbs and extremities combined! And damn straight I wanted it back!! I'll have you know, I never got that trolley back.

But enough about my days. Your days are what are important, and so I've prepared a bunch of useful and helpful tips for you. Firstly, don't let your kid be there. Have a family member take them out for the day. Don't make them go to school; they really aren't ready to face everyone yet. Don't make them go to work, same reason as school. I know you're having a rough day and you can deal with it in your own way, but your kids do NOT need to see their family home and structure turn into either a warzone, or have it left ridden and deluged in sad memories of the family they apparently don't have anymore. Send them to Grandma's, Uncle Bob's, and Aunt Jane's, who cares! Just do it!

Secondly, when you kid comes back home that night... try your best to be as happy as possible. Sit your kid down, tell them why Dad left, and tell them why Dad took certain things. If you're willing, tell them what he took in detail, it depends on your child's age. Also, if other relatives are coming over to help with the move, explain to your kid that they're helping only because Daddy couldn't do it all alone, not because they hate

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4 comments

  • Comment Link abbie Friday, 03 April 2015 22:14 posted by abbie

    I felt like that mi dad moved out

  • Comment Link retrogirl465 Tuesday, 04 September 2012 13:04 posted by retrogirl465

    I was the one that moved out: We had the house on the market to sell as we were both in agreement about divorcing. However my ex refused to move out saying that he did it last time and wasn't going to do it again. The fighting and tension was very thick and wasn't good for anyone. I ended up moving in a friend's house until the house sold and I could get my own.

    I moved 2 miles down the road, fought for visitation, did my best to stay in their lives, keep paying bills, see them and get that worked out. He was the one that told them that I abandoned them, even though we were in agreement about the divorce, the house had been up for sale for several months etc. So not all of us who move out do so to absolve ourselves of our children. Sometimes it is in their interest not to have 2 parents that hate each other under one roof. But he took advantage of the situation and convinced them that I was leaving them, not wanting my family anymore. When I was trying to get my things out of the house (what I could do on my own without movers when the house did finally sell) he was more concerned with his girlfriend's feelings as he wasted no time trying to get another person in my place. I was trying to get my things, my kids were watching television, I didn't ask for help. I turned to my STBX and said I really don't give a good goddamn about her feelings right now and for her to be here is rather tacky at this time.
    Even now, 6 years after I moved out my oldest, who has issues with me to this day over this, flings it in my face that I abandoned her. This while living in my house! I had to say if I had really done that, I wouldn't have had your graduation party for all the family (dad too), bought you clothes, help you get your first professional interview outfit, provided assistance on nearly everything you asked for in the years afterwards. I helped her thru her homework, her friend dramas etc. but it seems that no matter what, I will always be labeled the "abandoner" thanks to a father that encouraged that type of thinking. I cannot help he didn't think of them on this but his own selfish needs to have them "choose him" (found out later he was pressing the kids behind my back to pick a parent to live with before we had even filed)

  • Comment Link Mona2525 Sunday, 02 September 2012 16:14 posted by Mona2525

    I am also two years out. I: I am also two years out. I agree 100%. They are definately leaving the family and we are left to pick up the pieces, while they only enjoy the fun times with the kids!

  • Comment Link Shea Sunday, 02 September 2012 09:14 posted by Shea

    I am just about 2 years out: I am just about 2 years out from his walking out. The biggest regret I have is the kids being at the house when the ex moved his stuff out. The SOB even had his son help him. I was in such a fog/funk/shock that I didn't know what to do. I did tell my son that he did not have to help his father and that it was ok for him to refuse. Looking back I now realize that this is where I believe the experts are wrong in saying the divorce is between the "couple". From what I have read and people of divorce I talk to the leaver is leaving the family, period! I don't believe in tramuatizing children but the truth is the truth and it is very rare that the leaver genuinally wants a relationship with their children after divorce. We are told not to burden children with "adult" problems but I also believe it is wrong to sugar coat and give false hopes to children. I listened to the experts at first regarding taking the high road and not burdening the kids with our "issues" but my son stopped this very soon afterwords. The kids saw the truth to what the ex was doing and needed the truth from me no matter how much it hurt! The truth is the truth period......."YOU'RE FATHER/MOTHER NO LONGER WANTS TO BE PART OF THIS/THE FAMILY AND ALL THAT THAT ENTAILS! Only time will tell if your father/mother wants you in their life and is willing to put in the time and effort FOR ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. I AM HERE AND I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU ARE PROTECTED AND WILL LIVE MY LIFE IN A WAY TO REPESCT YOU AND US" That is the truth in a nutshell regarding divorce!