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Is hubby suddenly logging on to classmates.com and talking about the good old days when he was a high school basketball star? Perhaps he’s taking up running, or he’s running to the gym to work on his abs and pecs?

Is he donning black leather jackets instead of Brooks Brothers? Is he spending more time in the bathroom than you do, and using more products?

Hmmm. He may be going through a mid-life crisis, but more likely he's doing the hanky panky with someone else.

The American psychic Edward Cayce said that intuition is knowledge from an unknown source that is usually true. As we all know, a woman's intuition is usually spot-on — especially when it comes to whether her guy is straying. However, the desire to avoid divorce puts us in a state of denial.

But, girlfriends, better to know the truth. That way you can come from a position of power in confronting the problem and solving it. With your interests in mind, we asked Danine Manette, the author of Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing with Infidelity, what 15 signs to look for if you suspect your mate is making out with someone else.

  1. Do his friends' wives give you a pitiful, sympathetic look without saying anything?
  2. Does he work more overtime, but still never have any money?
  3. Does your mate have some new activity that occurs on the same night every week, and to which you are not invited?
  4. Does he answer you promptly when you ask where he's been or does he hesitate before replying?
  5. Has he suddenly begun carrying gum or breath mints?
  6. Is he experiencing a sudden unexplained interest in changing his hairstyle and general appearance?
  7. Has he started leaving his cell phone in his car at night, “to charge”?
  8. If he answers the telephone in front of you, does he quickly leave the room and speak in hushed tones? Or just mumble and give cryptic answers?
  9. Does he hang up the telephone or switch computer screens as soon as you walk into the room? Has he taken up text messaging, or spending hours on his Blackberry when there’s no work to be done?
  10. Has he recently changed his computer password or changed email for no apparent reason?
  11. Has he begun to pick petty fights with you, after which he storms out of the house, remaining away for extended periods of time
  12. Do his friends cheat on their wives?
  13. Do you have to adjust the passenger seat in his car when you get in?
  14. Does he suddenly seem uninterested in sex or conversely is he suddenly interested in experimenting with new sexual techniques?
  15. Have photos of you in his den or office disappeared?

If some of these scenarios apply to you, I think you get the picture. If you are suspicious, you can also check wallets, especially between credit cards and behind photos; you can look in coat pockets, pants pockets, gym bags, briefcases; and you can examine cell phone bills, credit card bills and bank statements.

If you're looking to become an even better sleuth, there's also surveillance software, like Blazing Tools or Waresight Keylogger, which allow you to monitor what’s happening on his computer, including web sites he visits and his emails.

Manette, who is a criminal investigator, also suggests using the reverse telephone directory to find out sources of mysterious phone numbers, and Phone Bust, which for a small fee provides info on the calls someone made.

Once you’ve gathered enough to feel you have the evidence you need, you need to confront your guy, but you must not rant and rave. You should present what you’ve found in a calm way. Say that obviously there is a problem and ask what will he do to correct it.

If he's willing to go to marriage counseling and end the affair, consider it an opportunity to work on your relationship. If he doesn't want to repair the relationship, you're better off heading to a divorce lawyer.

The world is a big place and full of people who will appreciate you. Remember, never love someone who doesn't love you back.

You deserve better than that: you're the catch.

 

Related Content:

When To Hire A Private Investigator To Catch A Cheating Husband — a video interview with private investigator, Jerry Palace.

7 Signs Your Husband Is Cheating, by Christina Rowe, author of "Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce — What Every Woman Needs to Know"

3 Financial Clues That He's Looking for a Divorce — a video interview with Financial Expert, Lili Vasilef

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11 comments

  • Comment Link Cynthia Sunday, 26 April 2015 14:45 posted by Cynthia

    I found myself in here...

  • Comment Link Cecilia Sunday, 05 January 2014 20:19 posted by Cecilia

    If you are a cheater .you are hurting someone

  • Comment Link lady leo Tuesday, 23 July 2013 13:16 posted by lady leo

    The man always like that even you catch him directly,they denide but its so unfair most of the woman straight to their husband but I don't know why man still cheat a woman...

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 29 November 2012 10:36 posted by Guest

    Please. I need help my: Please. I need help my husband has been talking on chat lines hanging with his friends all the time. All of them are pigeons and all cheat on the girlfriends. I went through his phone and found this one bomber that keeps coming up and everytime I call it private the girl answers and hangs up by the time I get to say anything. I asked him and he dated its his friends sister answering the phone. I started to get all crazy and emotional and he says fine I've been talking ti other women. I told him how is that fair to me. Im the one who does everything for him. I go to my room and lay in bed start crying and he comes in and says I was just saying that because I was mad. We all say things when were mad. I just need to know do I let go now before it gets any uglier or do I try and make things work.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 21 November 2012 19:44 posted by Guest

    cheating: please help,going out of my mind,me and my husband has been together for 18 years and we decided to get married in august,but the march before he meet a married woman twice and kissed her so he said,he was making excuses to go out and always on his phone and computer,i didnt noctice this because i was busy planning our big day,after our wedding he was on laptop and using his phone all the time he had 4 week of work with depression and was making excuses to go and see her,in the january i found loads of emails between her and him he even sent her a email on our daughters birthday,the emails was dating back from march to january,he said his depression meant that he had to stay in a sleep clinic cause he was having sleeping problems,but i wasnt allowed to go see him at the sleep clinic,then i found a hotel bill which was the date he had gone to the clinic,he said it was for his friend but i didnt beleive him,recently ive found pictures of the married woman naked on our family computer i asked him how did they get there he said dont no,hes nasty and very agressive,this is making me have breathing problems and even put in to hospital,when i came out i was still poorly and he left me to go on a work course he said im going to lose my job if i dont go,when i rang work they said he could have past phoned it until i was better,then a week later i found her number on his work phone and there was a message from him saying that he loved her,i told him to get out he got nasty and hit me so i got the police and they orfered him out,he has been at his mums for 2 weeks and everytime we speak we fight we have two kids 17 and 11 and they are sick of the fighting,he has gone away again this week,we have just had a big row and i said i wished i had walked away in january and now i might have been with someone he said no they wouldnt have you cause you are a shouting cow and worth nothing,i go to a councilor and trying to do alevel 3 in childcare but cant even focus to do it,what can i do i keep trying to keep us together cause it hurts to much when hes not here but he treats me like crapwhen he is,really need your help.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 30 October 2012 20:59 posted by Guest

    Be Proactive: Get Away From the Toxic:

    @guest 11234-I am sorry to hear that but am glad that you have moved on. I here too many of these stories, that is why I got into the business I am into now and agree with this article. I have heard of many stories of people living with that sort of suspicion in their lives and it eats them alive from the inside, and they are not even the ones doing something wrong. Not to mention the cheater usually becomes defensive because (whether they realize it or not) they are living with the guilt of their actions. It all combines to create a toxic situation, its unhealthy for the person and the relationship. It may hurt, but you owe it yourself to find out what is going on and get away from that situation as fast as you can, spy equipment, or whatever it takes. The longer it continues, the longer you have to deal with the pain of suspicion and the more its going to hurt in the end.



    Then you have the people that are the cancer of our society trying to preach the fact that it is more wrong for someone to to find out the truth of their situation than the ones that lie, cheat, and devastate someone else s life out of complete selfish motives (like just getting laid, ahem, scott). That is what they are, plain and simple, selfish motives. Grow up, be a real man and grow a pair. Being a real man is dealing with situations of life that are hard, not being a boy and taking the easy road just to get laid only to place the blame on someone else.



    Cheers.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 15 October 2012 13:08 posted by Guest

    CHEATING MEN: I sure hope ur single. If not then u should be, men like u do not deserve to be married!
    You deserve to be with as many prostitutes as u can be with until your D*** fallls off!!!




  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 29 September 2012 23:53 posted by Guest

    Marriage: I can definitely relate during my 6 year marriage my husband cheated on me and to this day denies it. He would always have some business he had to take care of and when I called him and Ask him where Are u he would yell, scream and call me stupid and retarded. I just loved him do much I didn't want to believe it and he also beat me the whole time but now I finally have the courage to leave now I am happy he is gone.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 24 November 2010 02:09 posted by Guest

    Scott, there are far more: Scott, there are far more than just "very few red-blooded males" who will refuse sex from a woman other than the one with whom they are in a relationship. They're the ones who are actually mature, realize the true worth of what they have, and are unwilling to compromise it for a short term feeling. Sure, many taken men and women will fantasize, check out someone attractive, watch porn, or whatever, but they don't all act on it. If a woman in a marriage has serious reason to believe that her husband is cheating, as someone who has invested a lot of emotion, time, and many other things into the relationship, she has every right to find out the truth. As would a husband! You may not tolerate being spied on but no self-respecting woman will tolerate you whipping out your junk for the first attractive woman that shows some interest in you. That's utterly disgusting.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 25 March 2010 07:00 posted by Guest

    Doesn't always work that way: You're quoting a "psychic"? What??!!!! That's ruined the credibility of this article straight away. There is no such thing as a "psychic" - they are all frauds. If you find a real one, send him to James Randi for testing.

    Anyhoo - if I discovered a keylogger on my PC I'd go to the police. If, as a result, I discovered that my wife installed it because she thought I was cheating, the marriage would be dead anyway, cheating or not. I wouldn't tolerate being spied on.

    If you women want to put your men under surveillance, remember this - you can be caught out, and you'll end up losing anyway.

    Thirdly, there are very few red-blooded males on this planet who would refuse no-strings sex from an extremely attractive female. You can deny this to yourselves and go ask your husbands who will no doubt say "no honey, you're the only one for me", but you know in your heart it is true.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 18 June 2009 16:27 posted by Guest

    Spot on!!! It's like this: Spot on!!! It's like this was taken from a manual that these men pass around entitled "How to Cheat on Your Wife". In the two years before my separation, all of these signs were there - but I was in denial and just didn't want to believe it could happen to me. I love what you said because it's such an important reminder: ". . .never love someone who doesn't love you back". I can't believe that those years were wasted on such a horrible man. Just remember, good men are out there, even for those of us who are over 50 years old!! My social life has never been better! KEEP THE FAITH LADIES!!!