That's really what it is, wouldn't you agree? There is something about him that keeps you around. There is something about him that calls to you and pulls you back in. What is "it?" What is that force that keeps you going back for more and more?
It is kind of creepy to think that narcissists can be so addictive.
They are inconsiderate. They are often times ruthless. They are mean. They are thoughtless. They are insensitive. They are hardly the knight in shining armor we thought they were in the beginning. They are hardly the prince charming we credited them to be. Take off all the hardware and what you really have is the tail end of the white horse versus that studly rider.
And yet, here we are in our restless sleep waiting for that kiss that will wake us up to our happily ever after. Waiting and waiting, and more waiting. The problem is that we are waiting for the wrong guy to make the right choice. And the other problem? We think that this guy, this guy that we know inside and out is going to one day, just one day, make that right choice. Until then we continue in our rags, our mental rags, believing that fairy godmother is going to make our dreams come true.
Yeah, I'm hollering bull too but that's because from the outside looking in it is easy to call bull. From the inside looking out, it's hard to explain.
It can be really difficult to break free from the narcissist.
It can be even more difficult to explain to others why breaking away is so hard. There's just no explaining it. For someone to understand they have to have been there and know it just takes time to really get worn out enough to feel strong enough to take those first steps. In the meantime, your support system gets worn out and they seem to stop caring and that makes it sometimes easier to not break away from the narcissist. Yeah, it sounds silly, if you have not been there because, well, you've not been there.
Like most experiences, you have to live it to really know it and to feel it and to "get" it. Like most experiences, you just have to have empathy and patience when you really don't want to because it's the same ole' song and dance.
So, if you are working towards getting to that point where you are worn out from your narcissist, just hang in there. You'll get there. Whether anyone else believes it or not, you know you will. There comes a time when you can feel it happening. Little by little, chipping away at your patience revealing what you are truly worth. So, don't give up. Even when others seem to have given up, they really haven't - they just don't know how to be there for you. So keep going. You're almost there. You can do it.