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My Narcissistic Ex-Husband

Reflections on loving and living with a Narcissist.  Let our experts guide you toward the healing power of moving on and allowing yourself some time in the spotlight.  Get advice on healing from his behavior and finding yourself again.

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It was a snippet in a (painful) blog by another member here that triggered this blog. I want to offer a morsel of advice that may be of no use or comfort to you now, but it may 'WHEN' you too break free.

I had NO MONEY AT ALL but the moment I knew I was leaving, I applied for and received financial assistance. For us abused women (especially with children), help 'IS' available.  I applied to food banks as well and the generosity was overwhelming.  I 'walked into' 30 establishments in a day! I even offered to clean the restrooms and wash and sweep floors. Luckily, six weeks after moving I got a job. If you're thinking it was that easy; wrong. I'm just cutting to the chase.

Here's my point. Even with financial assistance, food banks and my job, money was T-I-G-H-T! When you've committed to leaving your narcissist, when you're putting away those coins and dollar bills, when or if you're selling a piece of china, silver or gold to pay for a tank of gas, when you're packing those few precious items you can not leave behind, remember to pack: cleaning products, toiletries, baggies of all kinds, laundry detergent, a broom, a mop, a dustpan, vacuum bags, light bulbs, paper products, stationery supplies (paper, envelopes, stapler, scotch tape, etc.), flashlight, candles, saran wrap, aluminum foil, waxed paper, and more.

I was losing sleep for months on end worried about bills and the fact that I am 100% supporting my child, who has some past debts that require monthly payments. I had to file for bankruptcy so I have no credit cards, but it was my child’s credit cards that got us through when we were at our lowest. So I was paying the bills but didn't have a dollar to spare.  When you add up the cost of (some of) the items I mentioned, you may be shocked to realize how expensive they are.

A lot of those items proved far more valuable to me when I moved than a certain piece of furniture, a pile of clothing I had no room for and I ended up donating or the shoes I never even wore, but had to bring. I know this blog may not be useful at this time to so many of you, but when you do leave, 'IF' this is something you hadn't thought about, then maybe you will now. I just know it saved me a whole lot of money, money I did not have for several months.

(originally posted by an FWW member)

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  • Comment Link Jen C. Monday, 27 June 2016 16:25 posted by Jen C.

    How did you ensure that your ex didn't get custody of your child? I have left yet because my biggest fear is that he'll fight for custody just out of spite and I know that my daughter is in a safe environment with him....

  • Comment Link Susan aka on fww timex Thursday, 26 May 2016 14:02 posted by Susan aka on fww timex

    True words. Before you leave I would add, if you can afford it, get a safety deposit box for Jewlery and important papers (birth certificates, marriage license, tax records, etc.). I got a po box for my mail. And I also got a storage locker to store the items she mentioned and be sure to get your family pictures.