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My Narcissistic Ex-Husband

Reflections on loving and living with a Narcissist.  Let our experts guide you toward the healing power of moving on and allowing yourself some time in the spotlight.  Get advice on healing from his behavior and finding yourself again.

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1) Never let a Narc know your feelings.  They groom your feelings and try to use it against you. They will even try to use the feelings of the Judge against the Judge.

2) Don't let a Narc "muddy the waters." They like to change the truth either by lies or omission of parts of the truth. A lie by omission is still a lie.  And they usually believe if they think it, or say it, it must be true. No proof is needed because they think that they are "always" telling the truth (sarcasm). The best way to expose the confusion of a Narcissist is to expose him not as a liar but rather that he has more than one truth. The truth is constantly changing. Timelines with supporting emails and any other proof works. You don't have to prove the truth but rather the inconsistency in his stories. Even if you push to get a straight answer, you wont. Bam! gotcha!

3) It is all about the narcissist for the narcissist. He is the center of his own universe and we are to orbit him. No one exists accept him.  Every one else is to blame (even in court - even the Judge). I filed for divorce because he wouldn't - COWARD! Of course, I didn't file because he was bipolar or a narcissist. According to him, I filed because he decided not to be a Christian any more.  He is a victim of my cold, unrealistic religion and I am a cold-hearted hypocrite. A narc will ALWAYS finds the fault is YOU. 

4) A Narcissist always likes being the victim.  If you want to know what a narcissist is up to, it is simple.  Ask yourself, what is he accusing me of? He is accusing me of (cheating, stealing, lying, being lazy, anger issues, poor parenting, greedy, over spending, unkind...) Flip it.  That is what he is guilty of.  A Narc will even accuse a judge of doing/being what the Narc is guilty of. 

5) Narcs think they are so very important.  They think they are more important than you, the neighbor, their boss, and even the judge. Just because the King Narc declares it as so, it is so! And you will fear him as he controls you. I am no longer afraid of king Narc.  He is nothing but an annoying barking little itty-bitty chuahua. No contact and gray rock are the stepping-stones to freedom from fear and control of a Narcissist. 

6) The grandiosity gap is the gap between a narc's magical thinking/illusions and the reality/truth.  If left to himself, his bubble will burst leading to Narc rage. He will even rage at a judge.  A judge is more than willing to set the record straight for a narcissist, and evil always over reaches.

7) Narc rage always follows the burst of the grandiosity gap bubble. 

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  • Comment Link iwillbfree2bme Sunday, 27 March 2016 03:20 posted by iwillbfree2bme

    This article really hits home for me right now just as I'm starting the process of getting ready to divorce. Every single one of these points hits home and I will heed this advice!