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My Narcissistic Ex-Husband

Reflections on loving and living with a Narcissist.  Let our experts guide you toward the healing power of moving on and allowing yourself some time in the spotlight.  Get advice on healing from his behavior and finding yourself again.

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Ahhh… emotional manipulation. This is the stuff that narcissists of all kinds thrive on, the foundation of everything that they do, and their modus operandi. It’s what makes them tick, so ingrained in their daily lives that they don’t have to think about it. If you are, or have been, in a relationship with a narcissist then you need to know how to identify emotional manipulation so that you can overcome it.

After a while it’s kind of like playing a game of I Spy except with words. I spy with my little eye deflecting the responsibility.

Here are some things you will probably recognize. These are classic signs that he is emotionally manipulating you but they are by no means the only ones. Keep in mind that narcissists are very predictable and will use the same, stupid methods over and over again. It’s like a bad version of Groundhog Day. Learn to identify them and then put an end to it once and for all.

Mine Is Worse

No matter what is going on in your life his is worse. Have a headache? He will be in bed with the lights off because of a blinding migraine. If you have a stomachache he will have appendicitis and on and on. It goes the other way, too. If you mention that you once went skydiving he will tell you about the time that he parachuted into the South American jungle and rescued an entire village from a vicious drug cartel. Singlehandedly.

The attention must be upon him at all times but if you tell him to stop he will let you know how unfair and jealous you are until you feel like you need to apologize.

Next time he starts in just smile and put the headphones on.

Of Course I Will

You know the drill. You ask him to take the kids to their dental appointment because you have a deadline staring down your throat. He readily agrees and then when you smile and think to yourself that you have truly misjudged him he will begin the second part of the game.

Him: (Deep sigh)

You: What?

Him: Nothing

You: Why do you look upset? You don’t have to do this. I can find someone else.

Him: Don’t be silly. Of course I will do it.

You: OK then.

Him: (Series of huffs, puffs, and sighs)

You: Look, if you don’t want to you don’t have to. I’ll DO it.

Him: Stop trying to manipulate me. Don’t you want me to do it?

You: Yes I do! That’s why I asked.

Him: Well it doesn’t seem that way. You are always so difficult. You never let anyone help you.

You: I am sorry. I overreacted.

Oh and it can go on for a while. Do not play this game. You are always going to end up feeling guilty and making the apologies. If he says he will do something just thank him and walk away. Don’t answer his calls, either.

Check the Temperature

This one is a mystery to me. There is some way that people who are narcissists can change the entire atmosphere in a room of people. You are on the couch, reading a book and he walks in. You immediately know he is angry and you run through all of the things you’ve done in the past month to see if you are the cause. Even though you have no idea you can’t stand the tension in the room so you try to think of a way to make him feel better if for no other reason than your adrenalin is now pumping madly through your system.

Welcome to co-dependency.

Passive Aggressive Bull Crap

Passive aggressive bull crap is a simple game that is played often. He won’t disagree with you to your face but he will talk behind your back or find some way to make sure his displeasure is known by everyone within a forty mile radius.

This is the husband that goes to church and hits the altar weeping because he is concerned for his wife’s spiritual state because she is skipping church to stay home. He doesn’t mention that she has been working 15 hour days on top of her normal parenting, cleaning, and cooking chores and Sunday mornings were the only time she could get a long nap. He may have even suggested that she stay home.

Image Courtesy of Flickr's Creative Commons. Photo by Chris H. Connelly

Accountability Has Left the Building

He never takes responsibility for anything. He is always the victim. He’s never had a boss that truly understands him and that’s why he has had such a hard time keeping a job for long. They are out to get him. His ex-wife was unreasonable. He will, especially at first, share deep information so that you will feel sorry for him and glad that you are there to make it up to him.

Poor thing.

Eventually there will be a series of crises. They are never his fault. You’ll find that serious crises tend to occur just about the time that you have decided that you have had enough and are walking away from all of the crazy. That’s when he lets you know that he has to have major surgery for something, he decides to let you know he will commit suicide, or he loses his job (unfairly) and needs a place to stay.

Best of all? When consequences occur as they eventually will it will always be your fault.


Walk Away

You can’t fix it.

You can’t change it.

You can’t survive it.

As heartless as it may seem you need to walk away for several reasons, most importantly to maintain your own sanity. No person can survive the adrenalin rush of crisis after crisis without it taking a toll on her body. Keep in mind that while you are feeling the strain of each crisis he is completely calm and in charge despite what it may look like on the outside.

Walking away allows the narcissist to either grow up and grow a pair or find another victim. Either one gets you off the hook.

Are you struggling? Do you have a story to tell that might help someone else? You aren’t alone. Join First Wives World today to share your story and help others move into a place of healing.

Lead Image Courtesy of Flickr's Creative Commons. Photo by Katie Tegtemeyer.


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  • Comment Link Melanie Sunday, 12 November 2017 19:20 posted by Melanie

    Hi I'm not sure if my husband is a narcissist he has been acting really strange this year really talking down to me making me feel like a child . 4 weeks ago he txt me when he was out and said I'm out for a bit I need time to think, I didn't know what was going on later he told me he didn't have love for me anymore then he slept in our bed he told me he loved me . The next day he wasn't sure and disappeared in the evening when he got back he said he loved me this went on for a couple more days . Then I pulled him up on it because he emotionally tore me apart He just told me it was my depression everything is my fault he left me in the kitchen crying and he went back to bed . The next day I told him to go away and think about it and it took him a couple more days to decide he was leaving . But he has been manipulating me since telling me not to bother going to a solicitor because I wouldn't be able to find the money. He has bad mouthed my mum and said I was better when I didn't talk to her and blamed it partly on her then he started to blame my 22 year old daughter and said if she was a boy he would of shoved her head into a brick wall . There have been a lot of comments from him it is the way he says things which I find hard to explain to others. I'm a mess I don't know what's going on anymore he has told me I have said things but I know I haven't . Please let me know what you think as I feel I'm going insane . Sorry for long message

  • Comment Link Karen Monday, 25 September 2017 06:09 posted by Karen

    Leave! Leave! Leave! I was married to my narcissistic husband for 20 years. I "stayed" for our children. After he grabbed me by the neck I left. It has been 6 months and I and my 3 children and I are so much happier. Even though I struggle financially it is so worth it!!!!!! I have never been happier... and no I don't have someone else. I am not walking on eggshells, getting blamed for everything and anything. Once my husband got in a car accident on his way home from work and told me it was my fauIt. I wasn't even in the car!!! I cannot believe I let him manipulate me and my kids for years. Ladies please get out. You will be helping your children if you leave. If you stay they will grow up to be like him. Once you are free you will NEVER want him back.!!

  • Comment Link Chant Sunday, 16 October 2016 15:18 posted by Chant

    I was divorced by my narcissist ex-husband. He was adopted and got his trait from the narcissist mother. They were both charming that my family believed that they loved me. His traits starting to show when we moved in together- he talks behind my back like his mother. He tells me I'm after his family's riches when I could not find a job but when I did, he asks me to resign since he got a new job (much better than the first). He's always pretending that he still goes to work even if he is already been fired after a short period of time working in a new job. He does not talk to me for days when he's quite mad- Most of the time I do the apologizing. He tells me that everything that is happening is my fault. He blames me all the time. He thinks that he is not being respected by co workers. He tells me I'm stupid from child rearing, household chores, etc. because his narcissist mother thinks so too. Not only he is a narcissist but also I was economically abused making sure that he manages the financial/funds by stealing my debit card (joint account). I was in therapy and was encouraged by my nurse (not directly) to leave him because my depression was getting worse. He is not happy with me all the time. He thinks that I'm always a liability. God gave me a chance to restore myself and have a peaceful life with my kid after Post Traumatic Disorder. I tell myself, I'm getting better and better. To heal myself and understand people who are narcissist, I'm taking my masters in counseling. I would also like to help in the future those who are victims like me.

  • Comment Link Anne  smith Tuesday, 23 August 2016 01:23 posted by Anne smith

    I'm tired ... every emotion of his is my fault - when he hits me or throws me down by my neck it's because I made him mad. he tells my family and most of all my parents lies and tries to manipulate my 19 yr old son into thinking everything is all me because I'm crazy and I cut him off - telling him this after he almost died 6 mos ago in an accident and has a brain injury. taking pics and secretly recording me - telling me he is going to expose my diary to the world so everyone can know how crazy I am . Nothing is his fault. ever. he made me sleep on the floor of my newborn sons room after he got out of the nicu for 4 months because he didn't want to be disturbed - he told my son and my sons friends -18 yr olds -that I cut him off - trying to get everyone on his side. I can't do this anymore.

  • Comment Link Natalie Friday, 22 July 2016 04:35 posted by Natalie

    It was like you were reading my mail. Thank you for your honesty because it helps to heal when going through emotional trauma and divorce.

  • Comment Link Lin Saturday, 26 March 2016 00:13 posted by Lin

    I have been trying to divorce a narc, drug abuser, anesthesiologist who has stolen, lied, emotionally manipulated and abused me children to turn them against me. The mistake I made was trying to defend myself, putting him down. THE BEST and only thing you can do is break the connection. Focus on yourself, do the right thing for yourself, do not let yourself get sucked into their craziness, this takes their power away. See a therapist, get healthy because you need to look at yourself and see why you were attracted to someone like this in the first place, why you allowed yourself to be treated like this. When you do you can break the cycle, and not repeat the pattern when you move onto a new relationship. It will take time but not engaging in their sickness, taking away the control they have is the best way you can move on, and let your children if they are involved learn a degree of healthiness. It may take years, but it will happen. NO CONTACT means no contact. You give them their narcissist reward by doing so. Positive or negative they thrive on the attention. Take it away, you deliver a blow to them and in turn empower yourself. PEACE to all of you.

  • Comment Link JA Saturday, 09 January 2016 23:53 posted by JA

    Nice to know I'm not alone! Narcs are the worst of the worst. Ex was the biggest pile of crap that ever existed on planet Earth. His best defense was pulling the he found God and Jesus card. Pathologically lie, womanize, abused everyone financially, ran multiple corporations into the ground, blamed everyone else, coerced younger women, took out home equities never paid 1 dime back, exploited all his business partners, used the kids as pawns, drank like a fish, pulled the feel sorry for him, poor woo as me middle aged miserable married man card. Booo flipping hoo, he made multiple bad choices, bad multiple failed marriage choices, having kids he didn't feel like dealing with, financial issues with credit cards that of course were the credit cards companies fault because their rates were too high, blamed everyone and everything else. He would point blank try to make umpteen women jealous of him. Truly a sick sociopath with no remorse. Life was seen as but a damn joke to him because his life was so far in the crapper he didn't care at all 1 oz about anyone or anything other than himself. What a trip. What a bad roller coaster ride it was with him. Glad he has other women to tolerate it now. Although, they will soon learn what an assclown he is.

  • Comment Link Tina MArie Thursday, 19 November 2015 16:58 posted by Tina MArie

    Hello! My story..

    My name is Tina and I‘ve recently divorced a Narcissistic/Emotional Manipulating man after finding out about his two year affair with a coworker that he is now living with in another State. However, Keep in mind, he’s denied this affair over and over again.. he even managed to have me believing I was the crazy one. I am still in love with my ex-husband despite ALL the lying, cheating, emotional roller-coaster he’s had me on for years! I recently received a IM from his girlfriend.. the girlfriend he claimed to this very day.. NEVER existed. She had the nerve to ask me personal questions about us.. WOW! I was overwhelmed, HURT, sad and somewhat relieved!

    I am looking for someone out there that has experienced what I am going through and with those Narcissistic CREEP.
    I would really like to hear from you. Thanks
    Tina in Colorado

  • Comment Link Mandy Sharp Thursday, 30 July 2015 11:03 posted by Mandy Sharp

    I too have had an emotional manipulator as a husband. I was with him for 8 years but only married for 7 months before I asked him to leave. He did in the end start seeing a Psychologist but only had a few sessions and I doubt he told her the truth.

    I felt like I had a lead weight tied to my ankle and was always supporting him through the events in his life that he deemed too much. They could even be little things that he couldn't deal with. I just couldn't understand it as he had a good job but anything going on personally in his life he just couldn't deal with. Any negative event in his life was always someone elses doing when in fact he was the creator of his own destiny.

    He stills continues to try and contact me even though I've blocked him from my email and phone since January. He still tries to tell me he still loves me and life has treated him unkindly. I made the biggest mistake of my life letting him convince me he would change with commitment from me. He is a 51 year old man who will not have a happy future. I'm well rid.

  • Comment Link Ashlie Tuesday, 07 July 2015 17:10 posted by Ashlie

    Wow, that really touched on what I've been going through. After 10 years and three children... I was beginning to feel like the mad one! How to cope and where to begin again is where I'm at. Thank you for this article.

  • Comment Link starla Sunday, 05 July 2015 07:27 posted by starla

    I am here because I need help. I definitely have a Narcissistic husband. he is the most manipulating controlling self centered man I have ever known. When I met him he was the most kind, selfless, caring person I met. He made me feel more loved than anyone ever has.
    I married him after two years of dating. ten years later he is so emotionally abusive and so controlling. All the things I have read he does. On top of all these things the biggest thing he does is watch porno and ask me to take care of him while he lays down and brings his computer in the bed and watches 20 year old women that brings him pleasure. I am 58 so you can only imagine how it makes me feel. I told him it really hurts me and it makes me feel very inadequate and I hate porno. He gets mad and sometimes leaves the house and tells me he is sick of all my bs. He tells me he has watched it his whole life as young as 14 and he will never stop. He doesn't consider my feelings at all. I am a Christian and he said he doesn't want to hear all my Christian bs. anyway, he is the most self centered person I know. I need help and don't know where to go.

  • Comment Link Kat37 Wednesday, 27 May 2015 18:39 posted by Kat37

    After 16 yrs of marriage to a Manipulative / self-fish Narcissists I stuck it out for my boys as long as I could HE actually filed for divorce it has been 4 years now and the first 2 were a nightmare he would send me ignorant vomit text messages and emails. YES it was hard the at first to ignore and I stooped to his low level for 2 years now I don't respond at all! guess what the vomit stopped!! Now my issue is he has my 2 teenage boys treating me the same way when they are with me. What can I do to get them to understand that its not right

  • Comment Link Kat37 Wednesday, 27 May 2015 18:38 posted by Kat37

    After 16 yrs of marriage to a Manipulative / self-fish Narcissists I stuck it out for my boys as long as I could HE actually filed for divorce it has been 4 years now and the first 2 were a nightmare he would send me ignorant vomit text messages and emails. YES it was hard the at first to ignore and I stooped to his low level for 2 years now I don't respond at all! guess what the vomit stopped!! Now my issue is he has my 2 teenage boys treating me the same way when they are with me. What can I do to get them to understand that its not right

  • Comment Link Amanda Lee Monday, 27 April 2015 04:56 posted by Amanda Lee

    I'm currently married to a manipulative man. He used me for what I had while we were dating. Then he cheated so many times. When I finally decided to leave him, he asked to marry me and wasted no time doing so. We were married 2 weeks after the proposal. Big mistake! He then got me pregnant and slowly made me give up everything I owned for him. Eventually I was left without my car and a job. He continued to cheat on me and made me feel like it was all my fault. I was so hurt I shut down. He moved out if the house and two hours away in his own apartment. I was told this was my fault. I was forced to go my entire pregnancy alone. I tried to submit to him because being abandoned was so hard on me emotionally but he just kept telling me how I was such a terrible wife. I couldn't understand how though. It saddens me that the man I married is so manipulative but I should've paid attention to the signs before it was too late. Definitely getting a divorce soon. I cannot take anymore heartache, especially being pregnant.

  • Comment Link sary Thursday, 02 April 2015 02:40 posted by sary

    but what if you have kids??? Are there good recommendations for resources to find out how to manage a relationship with the father of your children to minimize the anger and manipulation so the kids are not further hurt?

  • Comment Link hurtwoman Wednesday, 25 March 2015 12:33 posted by hurtwoman

    I'm leaving my husband because of his narcissism and emotions abuse. He will stonewall me for weeks, ditch me on dates, and he gaslight me if I mention it.


    He will ignore me when he come in door
    Or very casually just say hI and not speak me for hours. This is every day. He only speaks to me when it is something very important Or to criticize me about something about the house. It is usually followed by a sarcastic direct insult like "you are stupid" and he will laugh and walk away.

    Now if I bring this to him that his behavior with stonewalling me and ignoring me for weeks and insulting me being disrespectful he will say

    'Nobodies doing anything to you."

    He says this around our daughter, basically brainwashing her to believe it is all in her mother's head. Meanwhile she sees his behavior.

    Well now my daughter does the same thing and when I tell her it is wrong to treat me like that she looks away and walks away and if I insist to correct her behavior she says "nobody is doing anything to you"

    The two of them emotionally abusing me and being narcissistic and manipulative have made me to decide to leave the house for a while.

    Of I get tired of my daughter stumping out room slamming doors,,talking loudly in my face in a grown up fashion, disobeying all the time, breaking curfews for hours, fighting me when I go to take her phone for not following my rules, she will scream she is tired of me and stump out and go to her dad and he will support thus behavior. I'm standing there with both of them emotionally bullying me.

    because of this I have severe cluster headaches now, and have to be on strong mess and nightmares every night. I have no choice but to leave my home and plan on moving out and leave my daughter wth him. They both have no respect for me and she imitates him.

    If I try to tell him he is hurting me disrespecting me, he says he doesn't want to hear my mouth and calls me names. If I say 'it is not right to never do anything with me or come out with me on things I want to do to" he will say " what u do is stupid and boring and lame, and I don't want to be with u. I want to be left alone. I got time to do anything with you"

    If I tell him that was hurtful he say again 'nobody is doing anything to hurt you"

    he is a nortorious abuser and I just want out now.

    I working on the next 5 months leaving him and never looking back I will pay my child support but they can keep eachother.

    I have done every thing for my daughter paid for her education, worked two jobs to give her a great early childhood I always make time for her and she just ignores, disobeys....etc. her father will only give money for her, that's it. But she respects him.

    For anyone going through this, please leave, before years go by like mine did. 20 years of abuse.

    if I ask him to do one thing about of a money he goes down like you said in your article.

  • Comment Link Steph Friday, 22 August 2014 17:22 posted by Steph

    Hello. I need help. My STBXH and I have 3 children together. He has been a narcissist and manipulator from the very start of our relationship but I never seemed to be a to get rid of him. He and I moved to Fl together after he talked me into it and I went through absolute hell down there. He never kept a job and was always helpless. I worked my tail off for years and felt stuck and isolated down there. I begged him for 3 years for us to move to Pa near my family and he always refused. He would not allow me to go visit them. Finally after some people talked to me I realized that he was a manipulating narcissist and that I had to get away. I bought a one way ticket to Pa with the kids and told him I'd be back in a couple of weeks. Anyway I had finally escaped and was working on getting on my feet in Pa and I was worried that he would file an order for custody in Fl and force me to come back. So I told him he could come up here and we could "work" on things. He came up to Pa 3 months later and moved in with me and the friends I was staying with. The only reason I took him in is because I always feel the need to take care of him. I eventually told him I was leaving him and that he needs to make arrangements on a place to live but he didn't get it. He kept crying and saying he would never give up on me. Now here is the ugly part... I had a male friend over one night and my STBXH ended up stabbing him 7 times and nearly killed him. This was 2 weeks ago. That night he went to jail and got bailed out the next day for $20k. I filed a pfa. Well because he is so manipulative my entire family has taken him in and left me! And now he is fighting me for custody! I have been left with No family, no support and no money for a lawyer! His parents are bailing him out of everything and my family is feeding him and giving him a place to stay. For YEARS everyone hated him because of how he treated me and now everyone supports him! And it's making me doubt myself now. Help!

  • Comment Link Priscilla Thursday, 21 August 2014 14:25 posted by Priscilla

    My ex got me confuse he say he getting emotional but won't tell me why all he said what I know now if I knew then that he would of never left he dosent contact me at all but all his mail come here I have his spare key I'm confuse I need advice

  • Comment Link Veronica Monday, 11 August 2014 12:43 posted by Veronica

    My stbx has convincedthe courts thta I am crazy. He isn't he typical kind of N but he has all the qualities. He is smart, keeps his cool in public and plans al his evil deeds way in advance. He is a master at lying and manipulation. He has rages but has managed to keep them at bay since I filed for divorce. Howver, he has managed to convince the court that I am mentally ill because I ahve Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and otehr Environmental Intolerances. Now I am getting a psyc consult and possibly losing my three beatuiful children who really do not eve nlike their father. I can't find an attorney who understands narcissists or my conditons and am just getting beat up in court and humilated and embarassed. He tells everyone I am crazy bu tthe only ones who believe him are the ones that have power over my life like the courts, attorney, and the jusge. I have Bacholors Degree and a Master's Degree and worked for 17 years before having my children. Now he calls me a 51 year old loser! Of course he lies about that and tells the court he cares about my welfare and only wants what is best for me and the chilren. He has a new 'soul mate'-hi second in about 2 years or less. I overheard him on the phone telling me the same shit he told me when we met--almost verbtum! He is pulling out the 'woe is me'--I'm married to a crazy person who has been awful to me! He told me that about his first wife too. I didn;t meet him until a few years after his first divorce and somehow he was able to convince me tha this bad behaviors toward me were caused by his exwife!!! Narcissists are the most awful, horrible life for on htis planet. Becaus enobody tells us about this type of guy--we fall for the lies etc. Ther needs to be a national coampaigh about narcissists---people need to know about this becasue the average person cannot even imagine that people this evil out there exist--and look so normal from the outside!!! Be aware.

  • Comment Link GenuineOne67 Tuesday, 24 June 2014 13:24 posted by GenuineOne67

    I am the ex-HUSBAND and I have a narcissistic ex-wife. This information is just as helpful for me as it has been for all of the women who have found themselves in this situation. I moved to another state, but she maintained custody of my two daughters. While I talk to my girls weekly, and see them monthly, my ex constantly gripes and complains that I have made her life a living hell.

  • Comment Link gemmied Tuesday, 27 May 2014 23:51 posted by gemmied

    This is my STBXH down to a T. Finally starting to realise deep down that I am not crazy- he really did all this. My mother does it too somewhat, but not as badly as him! I think I must be co-dependant to have picked him out of the crowd :(

  • Comment Link sylvia Wednesday, 23 April 2014 15:37 posted by sylvia

    just threw my ex husband out after i found him in my daughters bedroom telling her how ive been unfaithful for the last 10 years hes one sick twisted manipulator he even said to my daughter that he never said it calling her a liar which in return she flipped out and told him to leave. We returned from a two week holiday last week upon the last night of our holiday he lost the plot creating a big scence which left me sleeping in the hotel lobby for the night. My husbands response is i dont know how to talk to my kids. he doesnt have a problem when he flips out and goes crazy making everyones lives a misery. He's now run away to his mothers doing the blame game as he always does and texts me the cheek of it saying im turning everyone against him sick of his bullshit i gave him 19 years and two beautiful children i am now screaming at the top of my voice telling everyone who will listen about his abuse

  • Comment Link SharP Sunday, 23 March 2014 16:36 posted by SharP

    I had a serious conversation with a friend asking why my period cycles make him so irritable. That's when I realized that that was the only time if the month that I had the guts to tell him off. Lol. Glad I am not married anymore. It's not my period or me. It is him. He has another girl, everything looks perfect. But it cannot be maintained. Just because they are temporarily happy, it still doesn't mean it's me. I am just little me, not that powerful... Just me and it is good enough to be loved.

  • Comment Link cindy hilgenberg Monday, 17 February 2014 23:46 posted by cindy hilgenberg

    I guess I'll try to take my 21 yr old son & myself away around the 1st of the month, from that bastardo & escape like Julia Roberts in "Sleeping w/the Enemy". Only stayed this month to try to save some $. Verbal abuse~~~~horrible, horrific, & criminal. Don't want to be a {victim-narcissist} too, but>>>>how can we leave?

  • Comment Link cindy hilgenberg Monday, 17 February 2014 23:27 posted by cindy hilgenberg

    My x is clearly 1 of those creepy creeps-:) how sad /:)...My prob is that myself & my 21 yr old AWESOME son had to move into his house temporarily to get enough $ to escape permanently!!--(kinda like Julia Roberts in "Sleeping w/ the Enemy")--Of course it's kinda narcissistic of me to think my situation is the worst, but I'm so sad~~any help?

  • Comment Link annie08 Tuesday, 04 February 2014 20:21 posted by annie08

    I knew I wasn't the greatest wife, I made my fair share of mistakes. I know everything about my ex and yet the only thing he can say about me is that "I'm crazy". As I am in the process of getting a divorce, I have been blamed for the judgment (he didn't show up to court), he told me the judge agreed with him since he got an additional 4 days to file with the court (temporary order court date was 16 days after we served him, judge gave him the full 20 days to file, which he didn't), I was punishing him for taking care of himself, and the list goes on. You never know what emotion you'll get from him- one day I'm the best mother in the world and the next day I am a crazy B**** who is bitter and still wants to stay married to him. We have had our fair shares of arguments the past 6 months but I promised myself this new year that I would just sit back and ignore him.. & let me tell you it's HARD! It gets so difficult to prepare myself for the verbal vomit and take it! I know that whatever is said, whatever is done, even if we followed the laws of the land he will always be the victim, it will always be my fault, and he will always be sinless.

  • Comment Link marye Sunday, 26 January 2014 01:05 posted by marye

    Gwen, as you read through all of the articles you will see it is a pattern. MY ex had the counselor sure that I was irrational and childish.

  • Comment Link Gwen Wednesday, 15 January 2014 04:06 posted by Gwen

    I just threw my narcissistic husband out two days ago. I was feeling low and here you are the answer to my nightmare. My husband was such a narcissis that when we went to marriage counseling that he made the counselor think that I was the idiot. I was up to me to change.

  • Comment Link been there Saturday, 11 January 2014 07:09 posted by been there

    I too, had no idea such a demon existed. After 30 years I was actually quite convinced that I had become the most idiotic, inept, selfish, piece of Shit that I had been told I was. By the end, survival mode is a raw way to live. Exist actually. Not really live. The constant outbursts of anger were never predictable, sometimes violent, ruining our family and seriously impacting both of my children emotionally. I wish I had the guts to leave long ago. Of course, he is a textbook case so right now he is busy with his smear campaign for court, having accused me of abuse with a carefully thought out and orchestrated lie. I think one if the hardest things is accepting that I somehow did not see what a demon this man was.

  • Comment Link Newlife2013 Tuesday, 07 January 2014 01:31 posted by Newlife2013

    OMG OMG I Really thought his personality would change, why do I make him so unhappy? I am Sooo thankful for this site, I can't believe there are so many others who know this life. It's like a something you can't even make up. Only someone else who has experienced this life can relate.

  • Comment Link jassey Friday, 03 January 2014 20:24 posted by jassey

    It is a shock to know there are such people and we dont know until we have been married then the real personaility comes out