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My Narcissistic Ex-Husband

Reflections on loving and living with a Narcissist.  Let our experts guide you toward the healing power of moving on and allowing yourself some time in the spotlight.  Get advice on healing from his behavior and finding yourself again.

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You usually hear about the forceful narcissists that come in and control everything with their mind games and manipulations, anger and verbal abuse. There is another category of narcissist that is just as difficult to deal with, but somewhat more difficult to identify. The passive-aggressive narcissist uses an entirely different method to victimize his prey.
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Friday, 25 April 2014 16:10
Do you remember the Mad Hatter’s tea party from Alice in Wonderland? I prefer the book to the movies but that scene tends to remain the same whether you’re reading or watching a movie. There wasn’t one thing that happened that made sense. Alice asked if she could sit down and was told there wasn’t any room even though there were only three guests at the table. She was offered wine even though there was only tea – but most of all every word she said was twisted or refuted by the Mad Hatter. He would say something totally nonsensical and expect her to agree. When she didn’t he diminished her logic with his illogical tirade of chatter until she didn’t know what she really thought anymore.
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Monday, 21 April 2014 15:55
It is nearly midnight. My new, ever-so-slightly-used husband is sleeping next to me. I can hear the dog snoring and the house is totally quiet except for the occasional outburst from my 20 year old who is in the kitchen playing some game on the computer and eating pizza with his best friend. I’m sipping a weak, way-too-sweet Pina Colada as I write. It sounds peaceful, doesn’t it? 
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Monday, 14 April 2014 15:27
Coming out of an abusive relationship of any sort is not easy. It can take years of counseling, reprogramming, and struggle to break the old habits and ways of thinking. Although some narcissists are quite physically abusive it is rare. They usually prefer to use verbal, financial, sexual, and other forms of abuse that are less obvious to the outsider. Remember, they must maintain their outward appearance at all costs. 
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Friday, 11 April 2014 20:49
I am a big believer in self-help books. I have an entire library of them that contains everything from how to diagnose a medical condition to how to fix your marriage – especially how to fix your marriage. When I was homeschooling my kids I learned that I was a visual-kinesthetic learner, I learn by reading and physically doing things. I teach myself much better than I learn from others. My mom didn’t call it visual kinesthetic, she just said I was obstinate.
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Monday, 07 April 2014 14:58
Over the past weeks it has become glaringly obvious to me that I have been trying to find myself – and failing miserably I want you to know. It seems that I am trying to recreate the live I had before the divorce, sans the abuse, with my current husband.It’s not happening. 
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Wednesday, 02 April 2014 15:26
As if it isn’t difficult enough to make the decision to divorce a narcissist, walk through the nightmare, and begin the healing process there will come a point when someone will look at you quizzically and say, “So if it was so bad why did you stay?” 
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Monday, 31 March 2014 14:47
Infidelity is a common issue in narcissistic relationships. If you have experienced that particular betrayal you can find some small comfort in the fact that you aren’t the only one by any means. It doesn’t help that for some reason in our society it’s expected that husbands will cheat and wives will get over it. If you happen to go to therapy it’s likely that the therapist will encourage you to contemplate your relationship and identify the things that you did to contribute to the infidelity. More and more you can read articles that explain how it is instinctual – how men can’t help being pulled into sexual liaisons outside of marriage because of the prehistoric need to procreate. 
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Wednesday, 26 March 2014 15:21
Getting closure is an important key to moving on with your life.Have you seen the cartoons where a salesman is at the door and the lady of the house is trying to politely turn him down but he keeps his foot in the door so she can’t close it? He hopes that by keeping the door open he’ll keep her attention.
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Monday, 24 March 2014 15:21
How many times in the last few months have you had the thought that if you had tried harder, been prettier/thinner/more stylish, or [fill in the blank] your marriage would still be intact? 
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Monday, 17 March 2014 15:29