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My Narcissistic Ex-Husband

Reflections on loving and living with a Narcissist.  Let our experts guide you toward the healing power of moving on and allowing yourself some time in the spotlight.  Get advice on healing from his behavior and finding yourself again.

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I am tired of struggling with healing, with fighting my way out of the fog, and of trying to figure out what the truth is. I am tired, exhausted to the very center of my being, from struggling to separate the lies from the truth. Most of all, I am just ready to be good to myself despite what he says or does. Can you relate at all?
Posted by
Friday, 01 August 2014 21:22
One thing that I have noticed in most of the people I talk to who have been in a relationship with a narcissist for any length of time is that we are looking for some sort of validation from the narcissist. We feel we need it for closure. We fantasize about him suddenly becoming aware of how he treated us and coming back to ask forgiveness. In some small corner of our hearts we believe that somewhere deep inside he is ashamed of the things he did and aware of what he stole from us. Somehow, even after all of the lies, the criticisms, the shaming, and the manipulation we still believe that he harbors a spark of goodness and kindness deep within his being.
Posted by
Friday, 25 July 2014 15:43
I’ve had terrible moments when I think that maybe the ex was right and I am the narcissist. I look back on our relationship and the times he told me I was controlling and I wonder if he doesn’t have a point. I was certainly not the perfect ...
Posted by
Monday, 21 July 2014 16:09
Communicating with a narcissist usually goes one of two ways.  He either is doing all the talking or he isn’t responding at all. You see, either way he controls the conversation.
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Tuesday, 15 July 2014 19:29
Making friends is not easy for me and it never has been. Don’t let the online persona fool you, I am a total book-worm introvert with very little self-confidence in real life. I generally have always had a couple of very close friends that know me better than anyone else does – and then I have people that I chat with when we bump into each other in public. I have never been able to walk up to a person and introduce myself, I don’t do small talk, and I get overwhelmed when I meet a larger group of people that I don’t know.
Posted by
Monday, 30 June 2014 17:07
It wasn’t very long after my second marriage that I realized that I totally did not understand what love really was, I didn’t know how to live with it, and it scared me.
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Friday, 27 June 2014 21:12
One of the most difficult things to deal with when you are divorcing is the relationship between the soon-to-be-ex and your children. If he isn’t a total dirtbag, it’s possible that he will work to maintain his relationship with his kids even though he is done with you, if for no other reason than it would look bad if he didn’t. 
Posted by
Thursday, 26 June 2014 16:30
For years after I realized that my husband wasn’t really interested in me I would have fleeting thoughts of divorce. I wondered what it would be like and always came back to the same thoughts. I will be poor and broke. I will be lonely and sad. The kids will emotionally fractured. 
Posted by
Monday, 23 June 2014 19:05
One of the most difficult things about dealing with the breakup from a narcissist is accepting that a large part of your life has been based on a lie. There you were, skipping along, thinking that you were both on the Yellow Brick Road to Wonderland when all of a sudden your rose colored glasses fell off and you realized you were in a wasteland surrounded by flying monkeys.
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Wednesday, 18 June 2014 21:58
I really fought divorce. It’s a horrible thing that tears families apart, twists children’s minds, and creates a horrible situation for everyone, right?Well, at least that was my take on it. I was determined to have the perfect family no matter what I had to do to create it. If I was just a better wife, a more diligent homemaker, or prettier my husband would surely value me. I could make it happen – I was sure of it. I’d read books and talked to people who knew what they were talking about. I just had to find the right formula. I had to find the key to his heart.
Posted by
Monday, 16 June 2014 20:23