One thing that I have noticed in most of the people I talk to who have been in a relationship with a narcissist for any length of time is that we are looking for some sort of validation from the narcissist. We feel we need it for closure. We fantasize about him suddenly becoming aware of how he treated us and coming back to ask forgiveness. In some small corner of our hearts we believe that somewhere deep inside he is ashamed of the things he did and aware of what he stole from us. Somehow, even after all of the lies, the criticisms, the shaming, and the manipulation we still believe that he harbors a spark of goodness and kindness deep within his being.