When I was a child, I was fascinated when the teacher held a magnet over a jar of paper clips and they all flew out of the jar to attach to the large magnet. Later on as an adult ending my second marriage to a narcissist I realized just as the paper clips flew up to the magnet because of what it was, narcissists were attracted to me because of who I was. I am a kind person who has recovered from co-dependency and low self-esteem.
Narcissists are predators who hunt for and groom victims to supply their never-ending vampire-ish thirst for "narcissistic supply,"
Supply can be anything that makes them look grand or more important than they actually are. You can study narcissism traits online and how they operate in relationships. They are particularly attracted to co-dependent, low self-esteem, or anyone vulnerable, especially breaking up with someone else; this is a magnet to them.
They come to you charming, romantic, smooth, understanding, giving, too-good-to-be-true, and focused strongly on you. This is a trap to addict you to them and then their mask comes off. A path of destruction and pain follows.
Understanding who and what you are and also what you attract will guide you on a journey of self-discovery and improvement. When you change, set boundaries, make non-negotiable standards for yourself, and learn to meet your needs, and most importantly let others do the same for themselves. Different qualities of people will come to you, better people.
The Barbara Norwood book, "Women Who Love Too Much" is an excellent source of knowledge on co-dependency and low self-esteem recovery. Take your time and enjoy a better life blossoming, as you become a different, better magnet.
(originally posted by a member of our community)