I just turned 51. It was a truly wonderful day spent in the company of my daughters, my parents, and a few close friends. The girls and I made a cake together and I felt happy and loved, which brought to mind where I was just one year ago, at the final moments of an abusive 25 year marriage; lonely and broken in mind and spirit.
Today, I feel like a different person. I wanted to share this with all of you because whether you know it or not, you've all helped me along the way. When I became a member of FWW and began reading the discussions and blogs, I became so inspired. I've since learned from EVERYONE on this website how to stand strong, how to grieve, how to access helpful resources, how to laugh, be happy, and play again!
So today I'm sharing this personal list of affirmations so that you might see for yourselves that having reached out to others on this website, you've made a difference in another person's life.
Thank you all for understanding that sometimes my responses to your postings had more to do with what I should have said to myself - a long time ago. Ladies, I could not have asked for a better birthday present in my 51st year. Thank you my FWW sisters! I couldn't have done it without you!!! Peace, love, and many, many hugs —
A Work in Progress
1. I am a work in progress … learning, improving, striving, to live each day more fully, responsibly, and with devotion and thankfulness to God.
2. I am a beautiful person. Inside and out.
3. I am a strong, brave woman who is raising two daughters, maintaining a household, paying all the bills, and working toward a more successful career - all on my own.
4. I am blessed to have a job that pays well, keeps a roof over my head, supplies money to pay the bills, provides food for my family, health insurance, retirement benefits, and sufficient income to purchase medicine, therapy, clothing, lessons, travel, and a few extras for my family. I am proud of myself for having fought for fair treatment and promotions at this job, when it counted – all on my own.
5. I am blessed to have good health.
6. I am blessed to have two healthy children.
7. I am blessed to have a loving and supportive extended family.
8. I am blessed to have close friends, a strong support network, and resources to help me.
9. I am working hard to better myself physically, emotionally, and financially.
10. I am working hard at improving my relationship with each of my daughters.
11. I am working hard at looking at my own faults and admitting to past wrongs so that I don’t repeat the same mistakes.
12. I am working hard to improve my communication skills.
13. I am learning to be a better listener.
14. I am learning to be a better mother.
15. I am learning to be a better friend.
16. I am learning to be more patient.
17. I am learning to be more respectful.
18. I am learning to laugh more.
19. I am learning to trust again, by first trusting myself, my own good judgment and gut instincts.
20. I am learning to be less selfish and materialistic.
21. I am learning to be less rigid and controlling.
22. I am learning to be less of a perfectionist with myself and others.
23. I am learning to forgive my own shortcomings.
24. I am learning to be more tolerant of other opinions (political and otherwise).
25. I am learning to be more forgiving of imperfections (real or imagined) in others.
26. I am learning to resist the temptation to hold a grudge, to hold on to pain, past wrongs, and to embrace forgiveness from a place of love – for my own sake as well as for others.
27. I am learning to forgive myself for past mistakes and to learn from those mistakes.
28. I am learning not to be so serious about everything.
29. I am learning not to be overly-sensitive about perceived slights (real or imagined).
30. I am learning to let go of destructive anger.
31. I am learning not to be ashamed of my vulnerability, emotions, and sensitive nature.
32. I am learning to let go of embarrassment, shame, and notions (real or imagined) of what other’s may think of me as a divorcee, single mother, aging woman, woman of color, or for any other reason that just doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things and is beyond my control.
33. I am learning to let go of fears (real or imagined) and gain control over my life.
34. I am learning not to run away from my problems or seek out patterns of denial and escapism.
35. I am learning to let go of the things (AND people) I have no control over.
36. I am learning to be responsible for my own happiness and to define what that means.
37. I am learning to be less dependent on others.
38. I am learning to celebrate my new found freedom and independence.
39. I am learning to enjoy the roller-coaster ride with all the ups and downs that a full life brings.
40. I am learning to push myself a little harder each day to accept responsibility for the tasks that need to be completed.
41. I am learning to set attainable goals.
42. I am learning to live alone and stand on my own two feet.
43. I am learning to stand up for myself, fight fair, and set appropriate boundaries.
44. I am learning to leave my comfort zone and to take risks that will help me grow.
45. I am learning to love MYSELF unconditionally, become more confident, and have good self-esteem.
46. I am determined to never let anyone take-away my hard won self-love, self-confidence, or self-esteem again – It belongs to me – FOREVER.
47. I am becoming more financially responsible.
48. I am becoming more honest.
49. I am becoming more authentic.
50. I am becoming more spiritual.
51. I am becoming the person that GOD intended me to be
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