Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
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Maya Halpen

Maya is a thirty-something Bostonian unsure if the terrifying prospect of divorce is worth giving up something she can live with on some days — even if the other days are another story entirely.

Maya knows some women would say they'd kill to have a husband like hers — seemingly kind and supportive, certainly well-meaning — and would leave it at that. But she also wonders if those women aren't giving themselves enough credit? Loving themselves enough? She goes back and forth. And is sharing her journey here on

When Maya isn't fretting and writing, she is editing books, practicing yoga, or sipping wine with friends. But she mostly frets and writes. And very occasionally travels. That's her favorite.

Maya Halpen

Most Recent Articles

Maya here. It’s been a few months since I’ve posted — time to bring the community an update.It turns out the endless agonizing over the question to leave Rob or not, and the constant wavering back and forth, did settle out after I…

Goodbye, FWW!

Thursday, 12 February 2009 07:57
I’m unsure how things will go as I push ahead with therapy and life with Rob, but I’m ready to give it a try without writing as I go. As I wrote around the New Year, perhaps not reporting on our (lack of) progress will free up some mind…

Will This Be Another No-Sex Vacation?

Wednesday, 14 January 2009 09:22
I'm planning another trip with Rob and it feels so strange. How can you keep a straight face when you are planning what is essentially a romantic getaway with a guy who is only best buddy (even while he is your husband)? It's awkward, to say the…

Back From the Brink...I Think...

Saturday, 17 January 2009 13:42
Traveling for work: What does that do for a lackluster marriage? Does absence make the heart grow fonder, or does it provide a safe chance to test the waters of independence?When you're in Phoenix from Boston, it's not the latter, there's not much…

Is a Meaningful Partnership Enough?

Saturday, 24 January 2009 13:13
Rob and I are on our way back from the brink — quite literally. Just hours ago we stood at the rim of the Grand Canyon, gaping at the void.The contrast between utter geologic beauty of the canyon walls and vast nothingness between is almost&

Meet the Foils

Friday, 07 March 2008 11:55
Rob and I met through a married couple — let's call them the Foils — just over a decade ago. After a couple years of casual friendship, and for the second time in the same wedding season, we found ourselves dateless, drunk, and seated next …

A Few Thoughts On Settling

Monday, 10 March 2008 07:00
I read Lori Gottlieb's buzz-worthy Atlantic Monthly article "Marry Him!" with a sinking heart. Her thesis that older singletons hoping for motherhood should settle for Mr. Good Enough&

The Tables Have Turned

Wednesday, 12 March 2008 07:01
It's been a month since Valentine's Day, my last big effort to reignite something of substance with Rob, to save us from demise due to indifference.Rob and I never celebrated Valentine's Day, even in the best of times. We just weren't interested in&

The Ring Bearer

Friday, 14 March 2008 11:00
Rob and I have talked about separation but have no set plans. Until we do, we carry on, attending dinner parties together and sending birthday presents with cards signed "Love from Maya and Rob," so to the outside world, nothing will seem amiss.But…

Keeping Up Appearances

Monday, 17 March 2008 09:01
This is getting hard. When you know you want to leave — indeed, are trolling for apartments on craigslist — spending time as a couple with extended family members is unbearable.Rob and I haven't told anyone in our families about our&

King of the Castle?

Tuesday, 18 March 2008 11:55
I adore my apartment. I feel more comfortable and secure here than in any other place I've lived, including my childhood home.Its charms include exposed brick, honey-colored wood floors that stay glossy despite my neglect, and a funky floor plan…
It's 3 p.m. on Saturday. I slept in a bit late, but I've cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, listened to a lecture while working out at the gym, returned books to the library, fed the cat, and settled down to read the opening passages of the novel I…

The Unraveling

Saturday, 22 March 2008 17:00
Rob has been a rock as my family of origin unraveled into a tangled web of sickness, betrayal, and tenuous alliances over the past year. But I've learned that alone, providing enduring support in the face of tragedy is not enough to keep a marriage…

Letting Go and Living

Tuesday, 25 March 2008 15:00
The apartment search isn't going anywhere — I can't quite take the leap from the Internet to the field. But I've turned one corner: The thought of giving up my comfy home in order to leave Rob for a trial separation no longer scares me half to…

What Now?

Thursday, 27 March 2008 13:00
A friend recently asked me how I see my life going once I'm separated. Good question. The pain of loss and fear of change are big distractions, and I think I've lost sight of the big picture. Did I have a big picture to begin with? Maybe not.That…

Playing Games

Saturday, 29 March 2008 17:00
I went to New York for a little fun with an old friend this weekend. Left alone, Rob went on a drinking binge and played violent video games through the night. I came home to find him exhausted, ill, and depressed. This is not a new thing.It takes a&

A Changed Man. So What?

Tuesday, 01 April 2008 12:00
A year ago Rob was not communicating at a level you could call anywhere near sophisticated — he regressed to silly behavior when he wanted my attention, drank in excess, and had no hobbies or interests about which we could chat. He was…

The Ring Bearer, Part II

Friday, 04 April 2008 15:00
I didn't plan to write a Part II to "The Ring Bearer," but then I didn't intend to forget to wear my wedding ring earlier this week. Just like that, the potential freedom I had imagined a ringless finger would bring was upon me.I had&

What's Your Situation?

Sunday, 06 April 2008 13:00
Turns out, I'm not desirable roommate material. Here are some typical snippets from the apartment listings I've been reading:"We are mid-20s, looking for one roommate of same age to complete our household of four.""Young&

Paying for Past Mistakes, Part I

Tuesday, 08 April 2008 07:00
In graduate school I lived on credit, paying for everything from food to rent with plastic. I also had a British boyfriend who lived across the pond. In a couple moments of emotional desperation, I flew to him despite the costly last-minute…
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