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Sondra Simmons

Sondra Simmons is old enough to know better and sometimes acts like it. She quit her day job as a reporter years ago and supports herself, a vintage house and numerous animals with work ranging from teaching to public speaking.

Married once, at 40, she hopes her divorce becomes final in time for her to enjoy it.

Her parents have been married since 1949.

African American, a recovering alcoholic, and childless despite her best efforts, she lives in Florida.

Sondra Simmons

Most Recent Articles

It was hard, I tell you, getting out of bed at 5:00 a.m. on a chilly morning. But the prospect of a (new) pet stain on my rented carpet was a pretty good motivator.I managed to rise, grumbling, in time to let the cat out without incident. But then…

I Skipped the Name Change Game

Tuesday, 24 February 2009 08:04
“What is your married name?” a woman asked shortly after I acquired a husband.“Sondra Simmons,” I replied. She looked quizzically at me for a moment, then said, “Oh, I see. You didn’t change it.”I was 40 at the…

Which Do I Miss More: My House or My Husband?

Tuesday, 17 February 2009 08:05
My house is under contract. I’m finding my home harder to let go of than my husband.I guess that makes sense. The house was a better investment and often a better companion than Edgar was when he was drinking.Plus, the house is mine. I bought…
I heard a woman say the other day that she’s been feeling like Superwoman since her husband’s stroke. She’s had to do all kinds of new things, like handle their bills and make small repairs around their home.I understood where she was …

Mean Girl Redux

Thursday, 15 January 2009 15:59
My boyfriend, Jack, and I were walking out of our favorite barbecue restaurant, fat and happy, when someone behind me said, "Is your name Sondra?" I stopped, turned, said, "Yes," and didn't recognize the bleached blonde with&

Alcohol in the Family

Saturday, 19 July 2008 15:23
Sometimes, it’s a good thing when the other shoe drops. It became clear early in my seven-year marriage to Edgar that he is an alcoholic. I might have noticed before the vows were said, had I not been so happy to have found the ultimate…

Old Habits Die Hard

Tuesday, 29 July 2008 02:02
It’s been a year now since I determined I could not go on living with my husband, Ed. While he was the first one to bring up the D-word, he is also the one who does not want to get divorced.Once I finally got him out of the house (my house,…
The last time I saw my therapist, the Good Doctor, she suggested I was procrastinating about filing for divorce from Ed. A week later I’m not a millimeter closer to being the unmarried woman I’ve acted like these last 10 months.So maybe…

The Upside of "Single"

Friday, 08 August 2008 12:54
This came in email from my friend Jan: "My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day. We've discovered that, when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a damn big red mark on his…

Am I Following In My Mother's Footsteps?

Tuesday, 12 August 2008 10:33
I just spent a week with the longest-married couple I know, my parents. The last morning I was there, my eyes fell on a pair of photos I've seen a million times, black-and-white shots of each of them when they were in their 20s. Aside from the fact…

The Lazy Gene Strikes Again

Friday, 15 August 2008 12:58
Maybe this is the real reason I still haven’t filed for divorce: I just don’t feel like it. It’s probably that lazy gene Jill Brooke wrote about.&
"Marriage makes you soft," I once told my female co-workers. This was a few years ago, during a very active hurricane season here in Florida.  My now ex-husband was spending time in rehab, so it was up to me to get the house ready for an…
I don't have kids, I have pets. And they became another kind of shattered family after my split with Edgar. I thought getting him out of the house was the hard part. But after he was gone, I saw he was right.I wasn't making enough money to take care …

Tearing Down the Life We Built

Tuesday, 26 August 2008 07:01
Maybe I didn't have it all, but I had managed to build a life I wanted. I had a home and a family. (Well, I had a husband and a bunch of animals.) I had work I loved. It took my entire adult life to put it together.And now it looks like my next task …

Tearing Down the Life We Built

Tuesday, 26 August 2008 07:01
Maybe I didn't have it all, but I had managed to build a life I wanted. I had a home and a family. (Well, I had a husband and a bunch of animals.) I had work I loved. It took my entire adult life to put it together.And now it looks like my next task …

My Husband's One True Love

Friday, 29 August 2008 06:26
Edgar's therapist mentioned that Edgar's relationship with alcohol was the most important, the one he was willing to sacrifice everything for. My husband, Ed, dismissed the notion with a "don't-be-ridiculous" air that I knew well.Accustomed as I was …

Letting Go of My Husband, or Trying To...

Tuesday, 02 September 2008 07:14
Somewhere in my house is a book entitled Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be by Lama Surya Das. I bought it three years ago when I lost my job and my last pregnancy within a few weeks of each other.When the job went, that was kind of okay. I&

Learning From My Mother's Mistakes

Friday, 05 September 2008 13:00
"I should have left years ago."My 81-year-old mother said that to me for the second time this morning, and it's made me sad. She takes full responsibility for her choice to stay with my father, a difficult man. But one of the reasons she&
A revelation. It has finally dawned on me that I don't have to hate my husband to divorce him.Having spent most of the last year putting up barriers&
Today, I have decided, is the day. I will go downtown, find the courthouse, find a clerk, and start the legal process of divorcing Edgar."So you're sad about filing your divorce papers?" asked my roommate, who's been divorced twice.&
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