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Alice Brooks

Alice Brooks turned 33 in November and wonders when she'll feel like a grown up.

When Alice was little, her athletic and college-basketball-playing father sent her to sports camp every summer, which she hated. Instead of participating, she spent her time with the littlest campers — helping the counselors and telling stories. In elementary school, Alice didn't have many friends, so she spent her time with the littlest kids — helping the teachers and telling stories. Whether Alice became a teacher because she was meant to or whether she just got in the habit because she was unpopular and un-athletic isn't known. After graduating from college, Alice moved to San Francisco with Jake, the boyfriend she'd had since her sophomore year of high school. Over the next several years, they opened a joint bank account, got married, and moved to a fancy apartment. Alice taught a variety of grade levels, got a masters degree, and wondered why she wasn't happier. After ignoring the inevitable for several years, Alice and Jake finally admitted the demise of their 10 year marriage in the summer of 2006. Jake moved out that November.

A year and several months later, we find Alice here: wondering why the divorce process is so long and tedious; living with two cats she loves in a distressing, cat-lady way; teaching high school drama to hostile, inner-city teenagers; writing picture books that are rejected with lovely personal notes from publishing houses; contemplating a PhD; piling rolls of film into the freezer while swearing she'll get into the darkroom next week; and wondering why she can't keep a plant alive.

In addition, Alice is currently, unexpectedly, in a relationship — a real one, with feelings and everything. This means that she has endless fodder for worry and overanalysis: regular dating/relationship fodder + "I haven't really dated since I was 15 and I have no idea what I'm doing" fodder + all the scars and neuroses left from ending a 10 year marriage. The practical upshot of which is that she's filled two journals in the last two months and spends a silly amount of time in her colleague/close friend's classroom hyperventilating.

Click the following to read Alice Brook's blog.

Alice Brooks

Most Recent Articles

Speaking Of Crying . . .

Saturday, 01 March 2008 10:00
Jake used to get all kinds of irritated with me for crying. He got particularly annoyed if I cried because we were arguing or he had just said something like, "You know, I don't think I want to be married anymore."I have theories about this. I &

Alice’s Thoughts on Remarrying

Thursday, 06 March 2008 19:00
My friend Sam, on the edge of divorce himself, has a theory that our first marriages are our practice round and it's the second ones that stick. He cites our parents, and it's true: my dad's second marriage is all kinds of idyllic. Both Sam's…

Alice’s Thoughts on Remarrying

Thursday, 06 March 2008 19:00
Beth and Leo were together for years before I knew her. He had been married before, she had not. He did not want to marry her. They lived together, they shared a bank account, they were in it for the long haul — but he didn't want to make it…

Alice's Responses To Sex

Saturday, 08 March 2008 18:00
Several of February's "Sex With the Bloggers" posts got me thinking. I started to leave comments on several of them, but found I was going on and on, like this one in response to "What's With All the Emphasis &

What's In a Number?

Friday, 05 August 2011 07:58
I feel as though many women have issues with their "number" — worrying it's too high, feeling that they're not "allowed" to sleep around. While there's a very real need for caution, in light of health and safety risks (and, please, just insert…

Let's Talk About Sex. (Seriously.)

Thursday, 13 March 2008 13:00
I tend to think that sex is pretty crucial in a relationship. I mean, there has to be a reason sex is one of the first things to go when a relationship is falling apart. When Jake and I were at our lowest points we couldn't even get it together…

Playing The Name Change Game

Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:00
I always liked my maiden name. It's sassy. It's memorable. It's fun to say and festive to spell. Jake's last name, not so sassy. Not so festive. Kind of an old-lady-teacher name, actually. Not horrible, just ... clumsy. I wasn't a fan. But I got…

Choosing Your Words--And Memories

Wednesday, 19 March 2008 15:56
The thing about having been married is that it comes up in conversation. I was with Jake for half my life — I don't have a lot of stories to tell that don't involve him in some way.That relationship, that marriage, this process of divorce and&
Like me, Mike doesn't sleep well. When he's in town, he tends to wake up around four. He works for a while, then comes back to bed just before my alarm goes off.We were parking the car when he said, "How much does it bother you that I get up in the…

A Question Of Compromise

Sunday, 23 March 2008 14:00
For years, I stayed in my marriage, trusting that things would get better, determined to see this rough patch through. This was someone I'd made a commitment to. Everyone had hard times. Everyone went through this. And it wasn't all bad, after all.…

Alice's Rant

Monday, 24 March 2008 12:00
Dear Jake,I try to count my blessings constantly, reminding myself that this could all be so much harder.But, tonight, I'm a little overwhelmed with how much you suck.When you left, you left everything undone. You left your &

Alice's Adventures in Wales

Saturday, 29 March 2008 10:00
Despite our joint love for it, Jake and I rarely traveled together. Save one anniversary in Hawaii and a last-ditch-can-vacation-save-this-marriage? trip, my school breaks came and went with us staying home. I was never invited to join him in China…

Alice's Adventures in Wales

Saturday, 29 March 2008 10:00
The idea of traveling alone terrified me. But the idea of sitting on a green hill, in Wales, all alone, appealed to me like nothing else. I figured if I could do this, I could do anything.I was in a place in my life I had never been before: I had no …

Alice’s Adventures in Wales

Friday, 28 March 2008 18:00
I reached Abergavenny without getting lost, which pleased me.If you're looking to be alone, there is no better place to go than a small Welsh town in March. The town center was completely deserted by 6 pm. I could have strolled naked through the…

Alice's Adventures In Wales

Saturday, 29 March 2008 10:00
In the course of scolding myself for expecting an epiphany I actually had an epiphany. Why, I was asking myself, do you expect everything to mean something? Can't you just, for once, sit here and just be?And that was it, of course. I&

Taking Flight

Thursday, 03 April 2008 08:00
I went to Wales, and I did it by myself. I decided to go, I planned the trip, I bought the ticket, and I did that alone. I didn't get lost. I didn't miss any busses. I did exactly what I had pictured doing.I had this fantasy of sitting on a hill and …

Alice’s Adventures in Sleeping

Monday, 07 April 2008 08:49
I never had trouble sleeping before my marriage fell apart. If there was one thing I was good at, it was sleeping. I could do it anywhere, in any and all conditions. I could do it all night. I could do it all morning and all afternoon, for that…

Alice's Adventures in Sleeping

Thursday, 10 April 2008 13:00
My insomnia problem is recent. Nightmares, though, I've had my whole life. And I have them a lot. Not just the uncomfortable/ anxiety kind, but the screaming-terror-wake-up-gasping kind.If that weren't enough, they are often hard to shake — I…

Alice's Adventures In Vienna

Saturday, 12 April 2008 14:00
I am back from Vienna. It was cold (very cold), beautiful, cobbled, and simultaneously the perfect place to be alone and very, very lonely. I had a fantastic time, most of the time. But, being me, I spent a lot of time trying to work out exactly how …

Alice’s Adventures in Vienna

Thursday, 17 April 2008 13:01
I spent much of the flight from San Francisco to Vienna analyzing the difference between setting out on this trip and heading to Wales.Leaving for Wales had a strange feeling to it. I was headed across the world, and there was nothing, really, tying …
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