Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
join a community of support ›


I was looking to get out of my life and dig into a good book. I thought it was a good idea, at least until I finished it. Now I am just so sad. The books title grabbed my attention because it was in the romance section and across the cover read: Never too late. I thought, well this could be good. The main character was turning 40 getting divorced from a cheater husband. I thought maybe it would inspire me. Well they write the book like almost 40 is getting old but she still of course has a hot body and she has gorgeous hunky men after her. She ends up marrying an old high school classmate who is the love of her life. 

I am sad. Thinking they say the main character is getting old at almost 40 I will be 50 next year. My body is not "hot" and at this age I have no idea how hot it could get. I look in the mirror and am kind of sad. I used to be attractive and now I just look old. I can still pull off an ok look when I really try but no denying age is affecting my body and face when I am at my most vulnerable. I want to feel attractive and had hoped to find someone someday but the clock is ticking. I haven't even gotten a divorce yet. I know I am not ready and would never jump into anything for a long while, and that's only if someone comes my way and if I could ever trust again

I guess reading the darn book made me realize I miss feeling a good, strong, dependable man wrapped around me and I may never have that. I am sure I am not alone in this. I was just so tired of reading books about cluster B's, I thought it would be a good change. I guess I will try a nice mystery book next!

Leave a comment


  • Comment Link marilynbb Tuesday, 31 May 2016 18:03 posted by marilynbb

    As GS says "Be patient."

    Read lots of books and you will realize that there are many stories and many ways to feel good about your Self and the life you are living.

    You have many years ahead for lots of good sex and fun but first you need to know your Self and know what you want in a man other than to wrap his arms around you.

    Building trust takes time and scammers are plentiful. Take each man you meet as a chance to grow into the woman you want to become. This is about your life and the woman you want to be. The right man for you will love being the man he can be when he is with you as you will love the YOU that is yet to evolve.

  • Comment Link redith Monday, 28 March 2016 17:32 posted by redith

    I am a single mom of 3, my divorce finalized almost 4 years ago. I understand how you feel, I was in a marriage of 9 years never feeling good enough or attractive enough. It has taken me all this time to actually start loving myself and feeling attractive. I've had a really hard time finding someone I can be with without feeling less than I am. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we have to love ourselves and accept our bodies how they are. I don't think anyone is perfect, but we can find someone perfect for us. And I want to believe, like in all those books we read, that even though we don't always look our best. That perfect person will see us in the best light and will accept us "just the way we are." (Bridget Jones quote there) All my best wishes, I really hope this helped.

  • Comment Link GainingStrength Wednesday, 23 December 2015 17:05 posted by GainingStrength

    I feel this (just moved out of a decade long marriage to a cluster B socio/narc) every time I see a loving couple in real life, on TV or hear a song about it.

    I'm in my mid-thirities. I have three very small kids. I want a Godly man, a good man. Who like that would want a single mom with three babies?

    My heart aches when I think about it. I've dreamt about this man my whole marriage. Hoping my socio/narc could be him. That's why I spent so much time with him. Until I knew the true identity of my enemy. Literally, living with the enemy.

    I am in a low place now, having just moved out and beginning the divorce process so I probably can't help you or encourage you much.

    All I know is we are our own worst critics. We have been brainwashed by our abusers to think we don't deserve better and we can't get better. But, I know they lie. There is a good man out there for you. Pray for him and be patient.

    All my love - GS