The question of how do you cope with being left for another woman by your husband later in life was posed recently by a member and the community responded with the insightful and helpful responses below, which we thought we'd share and highlight for anyone struggling through the same issue:
- Forgive yourself! Forgive yourself and learn from this. It took me a while, but I read a lot - “Women Who Love too Much” the book and the daily self-help guide. I also read, “Lies at the Altar” and, of course, I got a couple of sessions of therapy, even if it's only with a house of worship. Be careful, though, some clergy still try and blame you. Go armed with your own knowledge of right and wrong. The thing about being married to a narcissist is they always make you feel like you were the blame and the cause. DON'T believe it. Fix yourself up, even when you don't feel like. Pray a lot and allow yourself time to heal. I have finally learned to say "good riddance." Every week/day I speak to my STBX, I say, good riddance. I pray you too will get there.
- You are not alone and there will be days the pain is so awful, but you are better off without him. He is the one to blame, not you. Someone told me the best revenge is making a success of your life alone. Do it and don't believe another word he tells you. He will never blame himself. You will soon be so relieved that you are away from this. Believe me, what you are walking toward is so much better than staying with what you had.
- Don't be angry with yourself. I ignored them too but I know I was trying to keep my family together and trusted him! Just remember you deserve to be respected. Surround your self by people that Love and respect you. I now see how much time I lived in a marriage that I was not respected. It feels really good now to have that monkey off of my back. Soon you will feel the same way too!
- You must be extra gentle with yourself during this time, and think only good thoughts about what you've done and your motivation. You have nothing to be ashamed of, nor feel guilty about. Guilt is best left to the cheater, and whether or not they have the conscience to experience it, is between them and their maker. Carry on with your head held high! Blessings to you!
- Unfortunately it is extremely common these days. My ex husband cheated on me with so many women. He was even dating a couple of women when he kept insisting that we were going to work things out etc. I always deep down knew that if I knew for sure he was cheating it would feel that much worse and I was right. I got confirmation only after we were fully divorced but at least I got my answer at that point of why he rushed the divorce suddenly. He is now on his third victim, I mean wife. Make sure you get everything that is rightfully yours, and don't accept anything less. Don't let him work on your sympathies or your anger. Go into this level headed as possible. Trust me, it's the best advice I could give.