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I have a confession to make about one of the First Wives World polls, the one asking how many times a month you have sex now that you're divorced. It seems that I'm part of the majority, the group of women out there getting "nil-none-nada."

That's right, the closest I get to kinky on a Friday night is a threesome with Stacy and Clinton while they try to turn some poor fashion disaster into a fashionista. What Not to Wear has become my substitute for sex!

Something is happening though, and it is proving the theory that the brain is our largest sex organ. Since taking that poll and learning that most of us are letting life get in the way of sexual pleasure, I've been putting a lot more thought into sex.

I don't think about sex often. I have other more pressing things to concentrate on. I've got a sixteen-year-old who just began to drive. A 23-year-old who may actually graduate from college some day. Talk about money intensive! Two full time jobs, bills to pay, laundry to do, dust bunnies to chase and an elderly mother who requires quite a bit of my time and attention.

I figure "Why think about sex?" because I have no idea where I would find the time to do it if I had the opportunity. After pondering the results intensely, I've discovered that the brain is bathed in hormones and is as distinctly sexual as testicles and ovaries.

The simple act of allowing myself to think about sex has started my motor humming once again. I'm noticing things I've not paid attention to in quite a few months — if not years.

Men for instance. For a man to get my attention, he would have to fall down in front of me. Even then, I would probably just step over him and go about my business. You could say that I'm generally unimpressed by men. That was until I started exercising my brain, letting it wonder to thoughts of more pleasurable activities.

In the past few weeks, I've noticed more attractive, sexy, well groomed, confident, tailored-suit-wearing, power-car-driving men than I have in eons. It would seem this small town I live in has a lot to offer when it comes to men with irresistible sexual magnetism.

All it took for me to finally take notice was kicking my brain into gear - something we all have to ability to do. You might want to try it yourself! Before you know it, you'll be going to bed at night with visions of boxer shorts dancing in your head — instead of that project due at work or the pile of laundry that needs dealing with.

If you are feeling too busy to get busy, it's time to allow more primal urges to roam around your brain. From what I understand, thought leads to action, and according to the poll, most of us desperately need some action!


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Cathy Meyer is the head of's Divorce Support channel. To hear more from Cathy, go to:

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  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 08 September 2010 21:44 posted by Guest

    Loved this post! it's been: Loved this post! it's been over three years since my divorce, I have not dated, not been interested in dated and your paragraph about men getting your attention pretty much describes me. I work on a college campus so I'm curious now as I think about going to work tomorrow.