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From The Experts

We've gathered knowledgeable, dedicated divorce experts from a variety of fields to lend their advice and perspectives. Our experts include lawyers, healthcare professionals, certified professionals, and everyday women with insight into the topics that will help you stay empowered.

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My best friend is French and very beautiful. Since we were 13 years old she could walk into a room and have every man desiring her.

At 44 she still has the same power so when she gives me advice on men I tend to listen. I rarely have men fawning all over me so she must know something. One thing she would always say to me when I was heart broken from a man and felt very sorry for myself was " there are no guarantees in marriage or any realtionship".

That used to get me very upset and indignant because after all, when two people make a promise to each other that should be binding and last forever...right? Well not necessasarily.

One of the things many women do during and after divorce is feel sorry for themselves and angry at their ex. That's a very costly state of being both financially and emotionally. It can even lead to health problems. The sooner we can acknowledge there are no guarantees in life, the sooner we can move on with our lives.

We've all watch the stock market ride through an unusually nail-biting drop, and return. I have a few clients who just began working with me around the time of the market drop who gave me $100,000, and during the market turmoil watch it drop to roughly $85,000. I wish I could guarantee their prinicple and, for that matter, their return but I cannot. I do believe that if they stay the course in the investments I recommended and maintain their long-term perspective, they'll make a good profit.

Investing is a long-term process and most advisors won't put you in stocks unless you have a seven to 10-year time horizon. You have to be able to weather the short term ups and downs of the market.

Similarly, look at the long-term picture of your life. Divorce is a painful and uncomfortable time, but over the long run if you stay in the game of life and keep the big picture in mind, you'll recover and come out ahead. There are no guarantees in life, but with a long-term perspective, sound game plan and calm attitude you can wind up ok!

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