I know, I know—you're already saying, "My ex will never give me more. He is broke, he is cheap, and I never see him." But this approach is worth a try, and you have nothing to lose.
The Bible has an interesting passage that basically states, "Where your MONEY goes, your HEART will follow". Isn't that weird? I thought it would be, "Where your heart is, your money will follow". In other words, I always thought people will spend money on the people and things they love...but it is the exact opposite: You fall in love with the things you spend money on!!! Maybe because you are forced to search for the value in it...
Ok...let's see if you can follow my train of thought. Taking that passage, I thought I better show my ex directly how his money is being used, and he would fall in love with the process of educating, properly feeding, and caring for his children. Remember—where your MONEY goes, your HEART will follow. So I wanted him to know all of his money went right to the kids...I wanted him to fall in love with his kids and the process of educating, raising, and developing them. Then he might be more motivated and willing to work more and contribute more.
I am going to get right to the point. If you are lucky enough to have an ex who gives you child support, consider giving him an accounting of exactly how it is spent. Itemize the healthy food you buy them, the karate classes, the new swimsuit and the $10 or even $100 you saved for your child's college account. Thank him for all the help and begin to give him direct credit for his financial participation in your beautiful child's development and success.
After about 3 to 6 months, if there are additional expenses you need help with, you can list the items and ask for his direct financial assistance. As his financial stake in his children increases, he will be more likely to take his girlfriend for takeout and spend the extra $40 (or $400) where his heart is: His daughter's ballet lessons!!
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