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I know, I know—you're already saying, "My ex will never give me more. He is broke, he is cheap, and I never see him." But this approach is worth a try, and you have nothing to lose.

The Bible has an interesting passage that basically states, "Where your MONEY goes, your HEART will follow". Isn't that weird? I thought it would be, "Where your heart is, your money will follow". In other words, I always thought people will spend money on the people and things they love...but it is the exact opposite: You fall in love with the things you spend money on!!! Maybe because you are forced to search for the value in it...

Ok...let's see if you can follow my train of thought. Taking that passage, I thought I better show my ex directly how his money is being used, and he would fall in love with the process of educating, properly feeding, and caring for his children. Remember—where your MONEY goes, your HEART will follow. So I wanted him to know all of his money went right to the kids...I wanted him to fall in love with his kids and the process of educating, raising, and developing them. Then he might be more motivated and willing to work more and contribute more.

I am going to get right to the point. If you are lucky enough to have an ex who gives you child support, consider giving him an accounting of exactly how it is spent. Itemize the healthy food you buy them, the karate classes, the new swimsuit and the $10 or even $100 you saved for your child's college account. Thank him for all the help and begin to give him direct credit for his financial participation in your beautiful child's development and success.

After about 3 to 6 months, if there are additional expenses you need help with, you can list the items and ask for his direct financial assistance. As his financial stake in his children increases, he will be more likely to take his girlfriend for takeout and spend the extra $40 (or $400) where his heart is: His daughter's ballet lessons!!

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5 comments

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 26 September 2012 23:11 posted by Guest

    What kind of a word is: What kind of a word is 'ounghtn't' anyway? Weirdo. You OBVIOUSLY don't know the legalities of child support and OBVIOUSLY didnt even answer a question. See we all can jump to irritating conclusions just like you! To answer this ladies question- yes, it is a possibility that your income could be used to recalculate child support. You need to check with a local attorney as the regulations are different in each area. As 'the new stepmom' I know it can be hard to watch hard earned money going to another woman- especially when you know she isn't spending it on the kids. What we did is pay the child support(watch her spend it on drugs!) and we opened a seperate savings account for the children. Each month we put $400 away just for them so when they get older we can pay for college or get them a car. Don't worry about the mom, she'll get what's coming to her. Just love the kids and make sure they are being taken care of and know they are loved. Now that one of the kids is older she came to realize on her own that mom was dishonest. If she needs something she just asks us now. And I'd gladly give up a date night to buy her a prom dress :)

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 25 September 2012 23:08 posted by Guest

    To New Step Mom: Keyword "Step."

    Oughtn't you mind your business about how much child support she's getting? It's your OPINION, and apparently a judge who's more experienced than you are believed she was entitled to that much.

    Before you say she's money-hungry, remember that you're only getting half the story. You don't, and never will, know her like her kids or her ex do.

    No, she can't come after you. Sounds like you're the one who's money-hungry.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 29 March 2012 10:31 posted by Guest

    Child Support from New Step Mom: I am wondering if it is possible for when my fiance and I get married, can his ex-wife come after me for additional money for child support? She already gets way to much (in my opinion) per month considering we keep the children every weekend, in which his divorce decree only states every other weekend. We would rather them be with us though. We just want to know if this situation is possible b/c he and I make a good living and well she is money hungry! Please help with some answers!

  • Comment Link CrazyAngel Saturday, 18 February 2012 22:27 posted by CrazyAngel

    Funny how it's always the: Funny how it's always the woman who is concerned about the children. Standard of living goes out the door when another "love" is involved and the kids know this. T o all the fathers out there who recognize what equal means and that it sometimes means one contributes 25 dollars while the other can spend 75. After all, kids are cheap. If you haven't planned to send them to college tell them this before the divorce.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 02 July 2011 13:25 posted by Guest

    "Our" ex-wife would sometimes: "Our" ex-wife would sometimes send us 5 page lists of items her daughter needed in college. As there were never reports on how the SD was doing, the correspondence was like constant requests from her about money, and we came to dread any communications from her. We paid for 1/2 of tuition, books, apartment and computer, but not much more than that, because whatever we would give, it was never enough, and she wanted her daughter living the high life, and going out to eat all the time. We wanted to encourage both the ex-wife and SD to spend wisely, to be on a budget, because that was not something they were used to doing, and is something we had always done. We mentioned that the SD should get a part time job, but of course that wasn't going to happen, and at 22 years old, the job offers are slim for a person who has never had a real job, but been pampered and handed everything.