Truth be told, I hope most of you don't feel like scorned women. But rather dignified women whose marriages didn't work out. You're extraordinarily capable women who can rebuild your lives.
When I got divorced with very little in the bank and a small income, I set my sights on rebuilding and was very careful not to get too far ahead of myself. I didn't let myself think too much about the future, but focused on one day at a time and doing the best I could that day. I heard once that a string of good days constitutes a great life. Once in a while, my mind would drift into worry and I literally would have to slap myself out of it. The worry would only perpetuate more worry and then it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I never thought about the many hopeless and suffering single moms. Instead, I focused on the women I read about who went back to school while raising four children. Those women who took jobs and then slowly became very successful.
My advice to all of you who are trying to rebuild your lives is first, find something you enjoy doing. Ideally, it's something you can begin now and over time, build success and good earning potential. Sales is often a great place for women. If you love it, start small and just get into the business. Make sure you truly enjoy the work and the schedule and environment sync up with your needs. Don't focus on what you're earning today but rather what the potential is as you succeed and grow in your success.
In my situation, I had a slow and steady climb with a setback during the crash of the technology market in 2000 and 2001. I was often discouraged during that time but kept showing up and working. I had to rebuild much of my business after that crash.
Today, I'm a much better financial advisor because of that experience. Ironically, I had a goal of making a certain amount of money. I reached that goal but it happened so slowly that it was hardly a cause for celebration because my life had expanded as well. It happened so slowly and naturally that it felt almost effortless by the end.
Granted, it took me eight years and during those years I gave birth to two children and went through a divorce, but it did finally come together! Today, I'm setting a new goal to double the original benchmark and focus my practice on families with net worth over $100 million. Slow and steady is a good way to go, you can do it!
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