Here is some good news...orgasms relieve stress! If you are feeling stressed-out and overwhelmed, a good roll in the hay might be just what you need. Then again, if you're divorced, raising children, working full time and up to your knees in laundry, an orgasm may be the last thing on your mind.
If you're too stressed-out to focus on sex and the only sex organ you've come into contact with for months is your own, I've got some tips for you—tips that will at least get you thinking about sex and hopefully jump-start that libido you've put on the backburner. Try a couple of these tips and I promise your motor will be humming again in no time. All you will need is a partner and, as we all know, those are easy to come by.
Think about sex. Think about it for more than a few seconds. Dive feet-first into delicious sexual fantasy. The great thing about fantasy is you can have sex with anyone you want and do anything you desire. So, pick someone who floats your boat, let him into your brain, and let the good times roll.
Practice Kegel exercises. You know what Kegels are -- they're the squeezing exercises your doctor told you to do after pregnancy. What your doctor probably didn't tell you is that they're also great for strengthening the pubococcygeus muscle, essential for orgasm. To do Kegels, take note of the muscle you use to stop urinary flow, then practice contracting that muscle, then gradually releasing it. Work up to 20 contractions three times a day.
Create your own intimate habits. Take candlelit bubble baths while reading bodice-ripping erotica. Surround your body with warmth and wrap your brain with naughty thoughts. Don't be held back by your underwear either. Treat yourself like the sensual, sexual woman you know you are and only wear lingerie that brings out the "Inner Bombshell." The feel of soft silk against your skin will help wake up those sensuality nerve endings.
Buy yourself some wheat germ. Sprinkle one tablespoon on every cup of yogurt and every bowl of cereal you eat. Wheat germ is rich in zinc, which is important to the production of that all-important hormone, testosterone. Nuts are a great source of testosterone too. A handful of nuts a couple of times a day should keep your testosterone level where it needs to be.
Take care of you. Get a massage. Or a pedicure, or a facial, or whatever makes you feel better about yourself. If you take care of your own body, you're much more likely to be able to enjoy it. Another good way to take care of yourself is exercise, which means better blood flow to those crucial sexual organs.
By reconnecting with your own femininity and reclaiming your body and its ability to experience pleasure, both physically and cerebrally, you may once again join the ranks of the sexually interested.
Cathy heads up About.com's Divorce Support channel. Go to About.com's Divorce Channelto hear more from her.
What Divorced Women Need To Know Before Jumping Back In The Sack — a video interview with Sexpert, Dr. Victoria Zdrok
Is Sex With Your Ex A Good Idea? — a video interview with Relationship Journalist, Lisa Steadman
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