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I get a lot of reader mail at FocusOnStyle.com — I think that I was born giving advice, but it’s well over a decade that I’ve been problem-solving professionally, and add another one to being in the fashion biz. So when it comes to pining away on dress dilemmas, I probably have heard (almost) everything, and seen plenty, including some bouts of male fraud.

But what about you, the dress distressed divorced diva? It’s been some time since you last went on a first date or that you even attempted to see what’s out there in Guyville. Can it still be that nerve-wrecking to decide about what to wear on a date? You betcha. But it doesn’t have to.

Going on a date can be scary enough when you’re a little rusty. Add the pressure of being judged by your outfit, and most of us can stymie ourselves into a night of indecision, droopy sweats, some takeout Chinese, and a very close relationship with the remote control. Stop. Get out of the house and learn to look like the smart vamp that you are!

If spending time with a new man still gives you reason for acid reflux, start practicing. Understand the value of male friends — gay, straight, young, or old — to take the edge off thinking every date is a potential Mr. Maybe and to help you to be more at ease with male company. Then get yourself some good lingerie — everything from lacy and risqué to body shapers that give you a boost. Toss out all the undies that once shared a home with Ex-Man and start fresh, from the inside out.

Most newly divorced divas fall into four types when it comes to perfecting a date-friendly wardrobe:

1. Close to You: You never lost your sense of style, but divorce certainly chipped away at your self-confidence. You need to know that you do have that extra sizzle to make heads turn by taking your style up a notch.

2. The Frumpadelic: Poor thing, you’ve been stuck in a rut because all your time has been spent worrying about him, the kids, anything, everything, except yourself. Toss out that stretched out bra and grandma bloomers, burn those khaki Capri pants, and brown cardigan sweater… start to live a little, a lot.

3. One Hit Wonder on Rewind: No, no, no. Just because that was your lucky Lycra dress to reel in the guy every time, does not mean that you can wear it again now. As we mature there’s no need to dress dowdy, but it’s a must to know when a certain style reaches its expiration mark in your closet. Move ahead, gracefully with style.

4. Better than Ever: Hooray, you’ve come to the point where you know how to look classy, appropriate, devilishly sexy, and not like you’re trying too hard because you know how to have fun with your own womanliness.

Get a modern haircut and brighten up your color, use some White Strips, wear some light, dewy makeup, and a hint of lip gloss. Find that dress which gently caresses your curves, shows a PTA-acceptable amount of cleavage, and has an interesting neckline that flatters your face from across a dinner table. Start talking (not about your marriage) and let your personality soar. Radiate and relax.

Related Articles:

The You-Look-Amazing, 10-Step Post-Divorce Plan

Dating Again in Style: Why Beige is the New Black

Click the following to return to the directory for Sex and Dating Post Divorce

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1 comment

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 06 May 2009 10:23 posted by Guest

    I agree with the wardrobe: I agree with the wardrobe redo. Good suggestions. I write a humorous blog about getting over one's divorce at the the above urls. I'll have to address the clothes issue, too. So important. When you look good, you feel good.