Like the old song says, breaking up is hard to do. Getting a divorce is even harder because you can't always cut your ex out of your life. Relationship author/expert Lisa Steadman offers the following five tips for healing and moving on after divorce.
Create new boundaries with your ex
Healing and moving on after a breakup is easier when you can cut your ex out of your life completely. However, when you go through divorce, you can't always do that. Maybe you have kids together, property together, a business together, etc. If this is the case, the first thing to do when going through a divorce is create new boundaries with your ex. Only discuss matters that relate to both of you, i.e. the children, business, property. Don't try to nurture each other through the divorce or talk about your new social life. That just muddies the water and makes moving on more difficult.
Enlist the help of your Boo-Hoo Crew / build your social network
No matter how many breakups we go through in our life, we never get through them without our friends. Divorce is no exception. It's important to have a support system in place for those times when you're sad, depressed, or just have the urge to contact your ex. If you don't feel comfortable, enlisting the help of friends he made during your marriage, call on old friends or join a divorce support group. And don't worry — as you ease into Movin’ On Mode, your Boo-Hoo Crew becomes your Woo-Hoo Crew!
Give your post-divorce bedroom a makeover
It may seem insignificant, but your bedroom holds the key to how quickly and easily you move on after a divorce. That's why it's necessary to give your bedroom a bit of a makeover. Buy new sheets or a new comforter, move the bed to another wall (or throw out the mattress and really declare your bedroom yours!), invest in a new set of pajamas that your ex never saw you in, invite a new scent into the room with candles or air freshener. Do whatever it takes so that every time you enter the bedroom, you're not reminded of your divorce and instead are able to focus on celebrating you and your ability to move on! Here are a few more tips on redecorating your bedroom as well as a Q & A on Sprucing Up Your Post-Divorce bedroom.
Give yourself a makeover
Divorce can be tough on your self-esteem. That's why it's so important to treat yourself to a makeover. It helps us reconnect with our inner fabulousness. So go ahead — invest in that cut, color, and highlights. Re-vamp your closet. Stop by the makeup counter at your local department store and get a new look. You deserve to celebrate the new you that's emerging after the divorce. She's fabulous. And she deserves to be celebrated!
Throw yourself a movin' on party
Celebrate the new and improved life after your divorce by throwing yourself a movin' on party. The party is not so much focused on celebrating divorce as it is celebrating the life that's now waiting for you, a life that promises to be more authentic and inspired now that you're free to be true to yourself. Only invite friends and family who can celebrate your future and not dwell on the past.
Click the following for a directory of articles to help you keep a healthy mind and spirit through divorce.