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As men set their sights on women’s earnings, their entrepreneurial spirits, and sometimes, their celebrity value, women are increasingly finding the picture of so-called equality looking very strange. How is it that women increasingly are paying alimony?

Almost one in three married women makes more money than their spouses do. This economic statistic is certainly a factor why women increasingly are paying alimony.
However, in our society, women seem surprised to have to pay alimony even if they earn more.

This is because it is a fairly recent phenomenon in our legal courts. Secondly, for many women who are breadwinners (in a failed marriage), it’s not as if they ever expected to out earn their husbands, or do all of the heavy lifting in the family, or end up giving him spending money as you would do with a child. Women often feel cheated by the legal system because it is possible that they have to reward a sit at home bum.

The wife’s sense of being the victim is intensified when children are involved. Women share disproportionately the burden of money making, household chores, and child rearing. This is usually compounded by the lack of gratitude, appreciation, and emotional support a breadwinner is typically afforded by the household.

I have assisted many divorcing women who face the prospect of paying alimony. Our financial strategy is predicated upon her entire contribution to the family, including her spouse. Most importantly, they realize they are not an anomaly. They are freed of social stigma and part of a trend that is growing in ranks.

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2 comments

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 19 September 2010 09:59 posted by Guest

    Employing an alimony double standard: There has never been a rationalizing that women should suboridinate a man and make him "pay" for a stay at home mom's lifestyle - "it was as if we hit the lottery"? That does not make sense. Properly caring for children and a home is a very real responsibility; in many ways more crucial than simply going to a paid job everyday. The equality you speak of is in regard to having a right to retain our individuality, to make choices, be heard and be paid for our efforts in the same manner a man would be. Unfortunately, in general, if a woman is divorcing a man who is chronically unemployed, he usually was not taking care of the kids properly or cooking and cleaning and budgeting. In other words, he was another dependent not contributing. If he truly was the "stay at home dad", the working wife likely has no problem paying alimony any more than a man does (or anymore than they should). Personally, I think fault should still be considered, affairs, misuse of marital funds, addictions, abandonment, abuse, these should tip the family funds in favor of the committed spouse. Where children are involved, it cannot be denied they require care. In a perfect world a parent is the best caregiver; giving up a "Paid" career is a huge sacrifice and the not stay at home parent acknowledges this by agreeing to this state of family dynamics. If you have a problem with the potential for paying alimony in the event of a marital breakdown, never agree to this situation from day one. Your choice allows your potential spouse to choose whether or not to marry you.

  • Comment Link alimonyslave Saturday, 23 January 2010 21:54 posted by alimonyslave

    Please: It was fine for us all to take the money when we earned less and we were "brownie making stay at home moms". We rationalized that we were entitled to make the man subordinate to us and make him "pay" for our lifestyle. It was if we hit the lottery. Now when we get equality, which we have demanded for decades are you saying its surprise when men dont get promoted in the work place for diversity quotas sometimes (ie: we need a woman for this director level position) trust me it happens., yet we want our cake and eat it too? Come on now fellow women please tell me that we arent employing a double standard?