Smart, attractive, talented women everywhere are falling victim to “The Good Girl" Syndrome. If you have been feeling inhibited — whether it be with regard to your career, relationships, or parenting your kids — it is likely due to unconsciously trying to remain "the good girl."
So ask yourself this…
Question: What is the adult version of "the good girl?"
Response: We remain "the good girl" every time we say yes when we want to say no. We are "the good girl" when people hurt us and we don’t say a word about it. We are "the good girl" when we totally disagree with a situation yet go along with it anyway.
Question: Why do we succumb to being "the good girl?"
Response: This happens in those times or areas in our lives where we question ourselves. We question whether we could get a better job or intimate partner. We question if we what we have to say has merit. When these things are in question, though, what we are really in doubt of is our own value. Doubt of our value can lead us to look toward others for validation of our worth. "Being good," or trying to please and meet the needs of others is is one way by which we try to achieve that validation.
Question: What impact can this have on us in the long run?
Response: Being "the good girl" can leave a successful and attractive woman struggling to find her ideal partner. Being "the good girl" can leave a strong intelligent woman stuck in an unfulfilling career. Being "the good girl" can leave this fabulous woman to in a perpetual struggle with a particular member of her family.
Question: How can we avoid reverting to being "the good girl?"
- Realize we cannot control how others view us or make them like us
- Change either or thinking to win/win
- Slow down & get out of auto pilot of pleasing
- Honor your truth and share
- Trust in a long-term resolution that is in your best interest