Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
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Encouraging Words From Your Peers

Excerpts from Our Community to You

You feel pain, devastation, you grieve, you mourn, you ask us all the same questions over and over like I did why, why, why.  Everyone in life makes choices good and bad and we live with the ramifications of those choices whatever they will be.  He will not go unscathed either.  Do not let him destroy you, do not let one man, one person never mind how much we loved them or still love them deplete us of everything that is good and wonderful.  Such good things await you.  I never thought I could be a support when I was on my knees suicidal begging for support for nearly two years.  You come out of the darkness into the sunshine and you live again.  It is a different life not one we chose but a good one, a blessed one.  Let it go, you have no choice he is gone. If others can do it, bloody hell you can.  Believe in yourself, in God, in friends and in the fact that I showed you I did it.  Believe you will … (continue reading)

Their Karma, men who cheat and leave, is more than evilly bad, but yours need not be. Fantasize all you want, and trust me; you are not alone in that one!  My favorite fantasy: He will (at the age of 60) knock the OW up.  Then, no matter what, he is stuck with her - the one he "fell in love with" just after he walked out on our marriage.  Mm. Second favorite fantasy: The Cialis stops working.  But in reality, I know that he has not won.  Who does he have - none of his old friends.  He has alienated everybody.  And he ditched the one person who stood by him and would have until the end of time: me.  So, other than the #$%^& new girlfriend, he has nobody.  I, on the other hand, am going to come out of this with my dear family, dear children, and dear friends intact.  And I will no longer be subject to his control, abuse and criticism.  I may not end up with any settlement that's fair, and I may have been nearly killed, but I'm going to spread those middle-aged upper arm wings of mine and fly.

It does not matter what the STBX does today or tomorrow.  He does not want you nor cares about you, harsh when we love them, but fact.  Let it go sweetheart, because there will never be closure for some of us.  If you cannot forgive and accept, you cannot heal and you cannot move on.  That is yours to accept what you cannot change your goal to understand whatever failures you both made it matters not.  Your life is now yours and you have to take control.  You have to forgive, you have to lean on God and pray and ask for help in this journey of pain.  This is your reality and you must live it for what it offers.  Nothing he did or says has any value but your hanging on and hoping for any kind of closure from him is destroying you, stop, stop it now.  You’re valuable and unique and special.  So do not waste another minute on these thoughts.  It is done, it is over and your just beginning to have a real life and a great one if you allow it.  Let the sun shine in and push those clouds away.  We are all with you, this journey is hell but we can make it, you will make it … (read more)

You will get over him but it takes time.  And you 'just can't forget and move on' because he and your marriage together was a big part of your life.  And remember, you are human, feelings of grief over loss are human, it is what makes us human.  Ending a long marriage and pretending nothing happened is not.  So yes, I do get it, but you will be ok.  I feel alone, almost same situation. We were together for so many years.  I am more and more alone.  Sometimes spend hours staring at the walls, I want to make a bucket list for myself, not the swimming with dolphins kind of stuff, but filled with the little things that I want to do so I get moving again.  But it's not easy … (read more)

We are living the same life.  This new life is hard for us because we never asked for it.  I'm learning that everyone's healing process is different and we need to allow ourselves enough time to deal with the hurt and all the change happening in our lives.  There is no time limit on that.  This site has helped me tremendously.  Sometimes just knowing that someone out there is going through the same thing or has gone through the same and made it out a better person is enough to keep me going.  Just remember you are not alone.  BIG HUGS  (read more)