Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
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I am so sorry. Going through the grieving process is hard but necessary at the same time to getting over it or to the other side of it. I took two-hour hot baths. Tried not to be up late and focused on how mornings were better. I had lost so much weight. I had gotten to almost 100 pounds. I remember thinking if I don't eat, I will die. So I let myself eat cake for breakfast. I ate whatever I wanted, can't do that any more, but for that season, it was good. Nothing like a chocolate brownie to make you "feel" anything but pain for a while. I remember taking my kids roller-skating on $1 night because I could only afford that. But we went every week. These girls are right! Small steps. Just getting up every day is a good place to start. If you can get one thing done. Reward yourself. Distract yourself. Your feeling will follow. After I cried, I got angry. I was angry for two years. It is all about grieving … (read more)
Hugs to you; you are going through a very tough time. He's a liar, but now is time for you to show up his lies. It is time to swallow hard, get tough and calm and NOT GIVE UP! You and your family are worth the fight. You do have the strength to deal with this, yes you do. So many of us have discovered that we can and do deal with all of the crap and pain and everything life throws at us. You do have that strength in you and all of us, including me, believe in that for you. Trust yourself. You are worth that trust and believe in yourself. You can do this and there is a light down at the end. I know my experience is not at all like yours, but one thing I have learned is that we women are much stronger, smarter and loving than we ever give ourselves credit for. Fight for yourself and your kids. You can do this! You are a survivor, yes you are. I am sending you hugs and blessings … (read more)
I am so sorry for the loss of your marriage and the pain you are enduring. I can remember during the break up of my first marriage not even being able to get up and function. What helped me was a support system. I had a couple of good friends who made me get up and get going. I hope you can reach out to someone and let them know the pain you are in and that you need help. Unfortunately your body needs to grieve in the worst way. Give into it and cry and have your pity party. You deserve it. It is helpful to think about what your spouse didn't do for you. You considered him your best friend but he did not give you the same consideration. He has breached his end of the vows and hurt you so try not to glamorize all the memories. It is helpful to think about the future and a chance to be loved in the way you deserve. Right now when you feel strong, accomplish one thing. Keep taking baby steps forward and you will begin the healing process … (read more)
I think that time is definitely a great healer and pain does lessen over time, but I believe it is different for everyone. I believe some of that healing depends on other hardships that factor into your life. Small children, lack of employment, lack of support system all contribute to how fast you will heal. Seven months is not a long time to grieve a loss. I think the more important thing is are you making progress. As long as you are going in a positive direction then you are healing. I am almost two years out from a break up and I still reflect on the past. I will always wonder how my ex could have moved on so fast, but it doesn't consume me. I am in a new relationship and I am happy. I do believe it is natural to look back at your life path and analyze it. Some things we reflect on will make us feel good and other things make us feel bad, but they no longer dominate your life. One step at a time, you are getting there.
When people told me I would get stronger from my divorce, I hated it. I hated people saying "you will get stronger from this, blah, blah, blah." I raged at God in my prayers, “I don't want to get STRONGER! I want my family back!” But, slowly, through trial and error, trial and failure, time, time, time, I did get stronger, I got more independent from this "best friend" who had betrayed and deserted me. I saw the sun shine again. I was laughing with friends again. Could that really be me, I would wonder. It was different, but I found out there was a still life, love and good things to come after divorce! You will breathe again, laugh again and live again! All the best, I'm praying for you.