Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
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Encouraging Words From Your Peers

Excerpts from Our Community to You

Do not be angry with yourself at all.  Guys who leave are six months to a year "ahead" of their wives in their heads.  Seek counseling.  Relay on beloved friends and family.  Take care of yourself, go for walks/exercise/join a club, get a massage every week or two; do yoga, read self-help books so you can come to terms with his perfidy and your feelings.  You are totally normal.  Ignoring red flags just means you lovingly excused his oddball behavior, and that's not a fault, it's a sign you are normal, have normal attachments, good values, the entire ball of wax  (read more)

Sometimes we see the red flags but we are just not ready to initiate a conversation about things that will be too painful to hear.  There is a preparation that goes on in the mind when we see red flags.  Our brains don't respond well to shock.  By noticing the red flags your mind had time to prepare for what was coming.  That could take years.  I think it is more important to address red flags immediately when you are dating someone because you have less to lose and will recover quickly.  Please don't be hard on yourself.  This is a life-changing event and you are now ready to face it.  Yes, it will get better, one step at a time  (read more)

You are still in the thick of it.  It is so very hard.  You will grieve in different ways at different times.  The disbelief comes and goes.  I know you want what you had.  I know it sucks.  There will be backsliding as well because it is hard work to let go and rebuild your life anew, especially when we are shocked by their abandonment.  But slowly, very slowly, things do get better and we look back and realize how far we have moved forward … (read more)

You are not "incompetent, ungrateful or out of control".  You sound very depressed and sad, and I know exactly how you feel.  I really do.  Life is going to go on whether you want it to or not.  We need to remind ourselves that one person cannot define us.  You define you.  And you are trying.  It is just going to take time.  We have to love ourselves again.  We have to like ourselves again.  Turn the TV off.  Listen to some soothing music, or a motivational tape or take a walk or do some exercise tape.  Just get your body moving and breathe.  Breathe. You will be happy again, just in a different way perhaps  (read more)

Yes the road to recovery from a cheating husband and failed marriage is such a lonely road.  It is hard sometimes to understand how we got here and how another woman seems to get everything that we all thought we were working towards.  But you know the men that have done this only think of themselves and once the other woman realizes that is what they do they will have to deal with same thing and at least by then we will be in a better place a place with the people who really care about us and place where we can love ourselves better.  Yes every day is a brand new start and got to keep going and talking positive.  But also we have to kind to ourselves not batter ourselves if we have day where we feel the pain.  Big Hugs … (read more)