Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
join a community of support ›

Encouraging Words From Your Peers

Excerpts from Our Community to You

You can do this, you really can.  We are all cheering you on.  We see it and we believe it because we have been there as well.  You keep putting one foot in front of the other, one minute, one day, and one week at a time.  Focus on yourself and the kids.  Sorry but he is a jerk and not worth the effort and energy your mind is putting on him, but I know you are trying to process this.   It is so painful but you will get through it.  Best of luck to you.  Look after yourself ... (continue reading)

I wish I could remove your hurt.  I was sitting outside yesterday trying to relax after a day of work; my way of "unwinding" is picturing myself still in the marriage relying on co-parenting, co-existing and co-managing to cope with all the difficulties the day brings.  I don't know how to make life after divorce better, I just know that I put one foot in front of the other every day and it gets a little easier.  I’m a little less angry, a little less jealous, and a little more ME can be glimpsed.  I’m proud of everything I’ve done over the past seven years.  I've sold my home, rented for a year, while I tried to get a mortgage, purchased a run-down home and dove into renovations on a very limited budget.  My kids are happy with their new home and, to my chagrin, have love for their ill-equipped dad.  I wish that you find the hope that will give you something to look forward to in life, but I understand where you are coming from.  Tomorrow will be a better day ... (continue reading)

A Narcissist looks like that.  He looks happy.  He looks like it is easy.  He moves on so easily.  But it is all a lie.  You know what goes on behind the doors.  It is all show.  He has to be on his best behavior for a while to hook his new supply - the new girlfriend.  They have lived together for two years and now he treats her just as badly as he did me while pretending that he doesn't.  Most of his poor treatment is done secretly behind close doors.  You would have to know what you’re looking for to see it because she is trying to hide it just as much as he is.  Enabling.  Co-dependent.  She is the old me and I am free.  The new girlfriend is on a ride that you have been there, done that, no going back.  Breathe the fresh air, love your kids, and go find some happiness.  You are not supposed to have any happiness without him.  Get some revenge and be happy without him.  He is your ex.  He is not your friend.  He is not your enemy.  He is nothing to you.  Go find some happiness.  You are free to do so, not crazy, but FREE ... (continue reading)

Let the pain and anger go, just let it go.  Say to yourself "I am powerful, I am worthy, I am beautiful, I am smart."  Join a gym and work out the frustrations on the treadmill or better yet a spin class.  I now have men falling at my feet, but guess what, so far none of them are good enough!  When he comes along I will know it, but I will love ad take care of me.  My two best girls will take care of me and I will take care of them.  Power is from within ... (continue reading)

Your feelings are absolutely understandable.  You must decide about what to do about the live-in situation based not on your feelings but on what is best for your kids.  As for your personal feelings, what I am about to suggest might sound whacky in the extreme to you.  All I can tell you is that it worked for me.  Wish him well.  If you are a person who prays, pray for him and his happiness.  Do your well-wishing or praying every day, and do it as sincerely as you can.  I am not going to promise you that passionate love will come again.  It might, it might not.  I can promise that you will love life again.  You will love yourself again.  You will be happy again.  My decades long marriage ended a few years ago, and I was very ill when that happened, so my recovery might have taken longer than yours will do, but in the past year I have begun to laugh out loud at Jon Stewart and New Girl on television.  I sing to myself while I bake.  I wake up smiling, and I dream happy dreams.  I have fallen in love not with someone else, but with myself.  You can do it, girl ... (continue reading)