Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
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What you are going through is pretty normal. Grieve; it's okay to do that. Crying releases everything and holding it in will be worse for you. Don't believe his lies about you. He's trying to justify is actions and make it okay to do what he is doing. You deserve better than all of that. I remember crying and feeling numb for months and now that the healing process has made me happy, I am alive again and happy. And you will be too!! Take it one day and at time and you will get through this time of pure struggle. You are right, you won't be the same but you will become stronger than you were before. Lean on your friends and family and it's okay for them to see you weak. They will be there for you. I found out I have a wonderful family and friends that are here for me. Even the ex's family was kind. They were sad as well. My ex blamed me as well, told me I needed to change and that is why he cheated on me. He wanted me to dress and be different than I was. I happen to like me and I can't change who I am. You are going to get through this. Just put one foot in front of the other and get through one day at a time. You will see the light soon. Take care and wishing you all the best ... (continue reading)
Your children are blessed to have a good mom like you. You've been to hell and back with an unfaithful man, and you continue to do what you set out to do; to be a good mother to your children and a decent human being. Their dad made a choice that has brought suffering on the innocent ones, but you were there to pick up the pieces and keep both you and them moving on with life. Yes, you are a wonderful person, strong, loving, self-controlled, nurturing, and so much more. Remember this each and every day of your life. Our exes have caused damage, but there is healing. We will all come back stronger and happier, and our children will be the better for having seen us rise up from the ashes, like the Phoenix! They'll know that the selfish actions of their father or anyone else in their lives don’t have to bring an end to their happiness.
We all understand what you're going through. That was the most agonizing part for me. I noticed my friends didn't really reach out, and I going myself doing the same thing, isolating and avoiding crowds, because going by myself anywhere was just a constant reminder that I was alone. I know it's important to learn to be comfortable being by yourself, and there will come a time for that, but in the mean time you need companionship with people who understand you and the journey you are on right now. Married friends seem to avoid their divorced and divorcing friends as if it were somehow contagious. The best thing I did was to join a divorce support group. Here, I have made some incredible friends in a very sorry period of time who all understand what I'm going through because they are going through it too. I no longer feel alone because if I want to go do something, I just reach out to one of my recently divorced or separated friends and we go do it. It's not like they are doing anything either; they are usually just as lonely as I am.
I just wanted to say that I think it was very brave of you to go out and try to meet people with all these things you are dealing with. It shows that you haven’t give up on love. But I feel for you, I think I "wear my grief" too. Its almost like it has become part of me. I don't want to be that way though. I need to kick these feelings so that I can create a life for myself. As for weather you made the right decision, you will always have doubts. I think we all do. Sometimes we just have those super depressing days where you just have to take it one minute at a time otherwise it becomes to overwhelming. You can move on. If you want it, you can. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise ... (continue reading)
You are understandably very emotional right now. Make no decisions while you're feeling this way. When you're talking about the potential breakup of a marriage, you need to be able to look back and know that you thought everything through. Only you can make such a choice. In the meantime, try to relax and think about what would be the wisest way to prepare, should you decide to separate. You don't want him to know you're thinking this way. You need time to make copies of important documents, seek wise counsel, and not do so in a panic. I always say, if you are a woman of faith, be sure to pray about everything. I wish I had had the time to prepare when I learned that once again my ex was having an emotional affair. My daughter was there and she voiced her anger at what I'd found out before I had a chance. If I had it to do again, I would have remained quiet and taken the time to observe his activities, make copies of important documents, change passwords on accounts, not our joint bank acct. I would also begin to put money away. Please be as level headed as you've ever been in your life. This is too important. We are behind you. I am praying for you ... (continue reading)