Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
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I can tell you that it does get better. You will go through this, and you will be smarter and wiser in your next relationship. Take time to heal. Karma is real. You don't want to live that old life. God has something better for you. Believe. Clear out the old, in with new. You have your health and strength. I have MS and have been ill for 10 years; I survived and will thrive, and so can you! Take care of mind, body and spirit. You will shed the old shell and you will become a butter fly and soar in new happiness. I was a housewife and he took all the money, but I fought to get what needed to take care of my kids and myself. You keep going. There will be good days and bad but through it all, but you will learn smile … (read more)
It is wonderful you have a safe haven in you parents home. There is nothing like the support and love of parents and grandparents. It is in their safe arms you are regaining your footing and your self-esteem. Your ex can call you any derogatory name that he wants but don't ever let his words influence how you will feel about yourself! That is your decision! You'll just need to accept that it will be a process. I would also try to save any voice mails or text messages with derogatory comments or threats because he sounds very unstable. That could prove helpful for forcing him into counseling if he wants visitation. You are very strong! You managed to accomplish so much in the face of the stresses and illness you endured. I admire your perseverance and you continue to be a wonderful role model for your children! You certainly will enjoy the rest of your life without him and one day when the time is right, you will meet someone who will treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve! Keep up the wonderful work.
You have had an important realization - that you can do this on your own, even though it's taken a toll, and that you don't need this good for nothing and worthless son of a b%*& to change your life and succeed in what's important to you. I assume your attorney is going after him with shark-like focus and determination. Judges and courts have seen it all, and this is not the first time a deadbeat dad - can we say, lower than pond scum? This guy should be thrown in jail. But if your attorney is doing everything within his power and your Ex is still getting away with manning up to his responsibilities as a father, then at some point you have to let go -- for your own sanity and health. Perhaps he will have regrets later, perhaps he won't. You, on the other hand - it's never too late to start fresh in life and be happy. You're well on the path to a healthier, more joyful and self-confident life: you should wear your battle scars proudly. You are a great mom, a great woman, a great person. More power to you. We are proud of you … (read more)
You are not expected to thrive any time soon because your heart and mind have been through a terrible trauma. Like any trauma, it is a process to heal. You sound very capable and emotionally sound given that you know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a matter of "when". I am sorry for your pain. Knowing what to do to move on and having to execute it, is draining. Stay nutritionally sound. Don't forget some R & R time. It is going to be a process. We have all been there; some of us more than once, and we can relate to every experience you are having. Because it involves betrayal and rejection, it is the most painful and overwhelming life stressor you will endure. We are here for you. Stay in touch and one day at a time … (read more)
I could read the pain in your post. The best way forward for me was doing the whole no contact thing. I am still trying to find out how that works with children. Everyday I get stronger, more clear and happier. Then if I do get a stressful e-mail from the STBX, it knocks me back for about 4 days or so. But it will never knock me back as far as he used to in our marriage and I do a lot of self-care on the days that I am low. Journal, walk on the beach, pray, do my nails, take a bath, go for a nice cup of coffee at a cafe, or dance in the kitchen with my son - anything that looks after my soul, to lift me up. Try not to put any energy into the ex, you need to keep cutting the bonds to him, he will drain you. Save your energy for you and your kids. Good luck, I will be thinking of you … (read more)