Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
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You will come out on top. There is a reason that you went through this, and in time you will see it. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. The old saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" is very true, you stayed with him after he had affairs, and it was then that you should of left him. A man feels that if you forgive him once, then he can do it again. You are better than that and deserve to be loved and respected by a man who will appreciate you. Don't look back, keep moving forward and you will get through this … (read more)
What you wrote sounds so familiar in dealing with a narcissist for so many years. We lose ourselves through it all, which is so very hard to understand and overcome and those who have not walked in our shoes cannot fathom what it truly is. I think for myself the hurt and pain have been all encompassing and I am starting to slowly recover. Our journeys are unique to each of us and we all do the best we can to make it for our children, our families, our friends, and ourselves. From what I have seen, those who are angry or stay angry are bitter and that would be a stage I wouldn't want to go through. They have taken enough from our families and us so why let them rob us of more? If we are angry or bitter that seems to be what they would be doing. After all of this we hopefully will in time be able to embrace life again and all experience future joy and happiness. I am learning slowly to be happy with myself and with being alone after so many years. I guess that is part of the recovery from a narcissist and control and manipulation. My dogs help so much, too and being able to teach again. I will be praying for you on this journey. Take care, hang in there and God bless … (read more)
Moving on doesn’t mean you forget, it just means you accept what happened and continue living. I know I for one will not forget the many years I spent with the person I was supposed to grow old with. I have a new life now, with a new man and he has stepped up to fill the ex's shoes. He not only has filled them he has greatly grown out of them. God has given me this man and my loving children, whom have never left my side, and I will forever cherish them no matter what happens. God has filled a tremendous hole left in my heart. Life does go on.
One day at a time, breathe. You can get through this, but it hurts like hell. I just want to send you a hug. You wouldn't wish that sort of treatment on your worst enemy so it hurts so much from someone who was suppose to love you. I don't understand how these men can do it, and honestly the women are just as bad for getting involved with a married man. Sorry but that is how I feel. Please look after yourself. Journal, cry, talk to friends, get on here, read, anything that helps to make sense of it and to start the healing. I hope you find some comfort in my few words and all the other ladies here. You are not alone, you will get through this, you will be happier on the other side. This is a whole new opportunity to create a different … (read more)
You are doing great! Divorce is a very difficult marathon to run. He dragged it on and on and on because he knew how to pull your strings, and it worked. It was "all your fault," so he has to "punish" you by drawing you in, then slamming you. After decades, that is one hard habit, not necessarily a codependency issue, to break free from. The recognition that they really were never who you thought they were doesn’t happen over night - that they just are not there. It's a sudden awaking and a shock. It's a trauma. It affects you physically, mentally, and emotionally. The effects last for a long time, so don’t be hard on yourself. You are going to be good to go. We all are … (read more)