Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
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You will find the new love of your life and someone who values you as a best friend as well, someone who truly loves you and respects you and your body. First you need to believe that you deserve so much more then him, then you have to protect your heart against him. He is not looking out for your best interest at all. Get yourself clear and centered and your thinking right. He is not good for you anymore, you need to out grow him and you can do it. What you tell yourself is what you will believe. So if you tell yourself you are broken, then you will be, if you tell yourself you are devastated then you will be. Of course it is hard and sad but you can do this. You have the opportunity to build a new life, a better life, a life without pain and lies. I wish you all the best. Look out for yourself and feed yourself good thoughts. No one should live for another human being it makes you too venerable … (read more)
You are strong and capable! Everyone has a rough patch and that is where you are right now. It always gets better, and you will feel happy again. Literally take each moment right here and now and think about where you are at and try to find the silver lining in the simple things, the smell of coffee, chocolate, and the sunset. Try to really look at all the simple silly things; it keeps me from wandering to far into the past or what I believe the future should be … (read more)
I am sorry for your pain but applaud you for your strength. It takes courage to move on and know there is a light for you at the end of this long tunnel. You are enduring some of life's greatest stresses all at the same time. You will feel like a rock when this is over and done with. Yes the other woman can have him; she has seen up close and personal what he does to his woman when he tires of her. If she is not smart enough to see that will be her some day then she deserves what she gets … (read more)
No one can make you feel bad about yourself. You are the only one who is in charge of how you feel about yourself. They can say negative things but keep your emotional suit of armor on and let those painful thoughts of the past bounce off you. None of us are perfect but we have the power to change what we don't like and accept what we do. You have a hero buried deep inside yourself, but you haven't been able to dig her out. Counseling will help you. Take control back and do not let anyone dictate to you what you will do for them. You take care of you first, and then everything else will.
The hardest part is when you compare your life now to the "perfect" life that he has with his new girlfriend. Realize that it is normal for you to feel that way, but that it is not reality. It is never as good as it looks, and your husband's new woman will eventually realize this. The best thing you can do for yourself now, while you are feeling broken, is to hire a good attorney. I purposely hired a low-key lawyer, as I didn't want to appear grasping, or abusive. In the initial stages of the separation, I thought it still important that I not appear to be the punitive one, both for the sake of appearance, my children, and my own sanity. I wish I had followed the advice of those who encouraged me to be more aggressive. However, I would implore you to listen to the advice of your friends, and hire the best attorney that you can get, one who has the reputation of being assertive. If your husband was difficult and emotionally abusive, you are only beginning to realize how you have been damaged by his oppression. At this stage, you need to let someone else be your advocate. A year from now, you will see things so much more clearly. You will get through this. You will so get through this … (read more)