DO NOT LOSE the memory of how you felt before he left. For me it was not good. Be honest, write everything down that you can remember feeling, and then ask yourself if it was REALLY better. Don't get stuck in the familiar. We all want to be in a familiar space. It feels better to be attached than unattached. But that doesn't mean it was the right place to be. Write everything down as to what was bothersome or upsetting about your relationship and what was good. There's always good. It's easier to remember that. Your heart is looking for something happy to hold on to. You need to remember the things bad, then decide to create some good things for yourself for your heart to hang on to. Once you do that it will get easier. Right now you need to find your crown. It isn't easy, tip toe if you must, but keep moving forward.